Gravity Falls: Leo's Remix
by Morning-Star57
Summary: Leo Pines wasn't expecting much from this summer when his parents decided to ship him and his younger siblings off to middle-of-nowhere, Oregon. What he didn't know was that this sleepy town was riddled with secrets. And that his siblings have absolutely no sense of self preservation when it comes to the paranormal. Honestly, summer vacation wasn't supposed to be this stressful.
1. Tourist Trapped

"Go faster!"

"I'm going as fast as I can! This thing ain't a race car!"

Leo managed to dodge a tree at the last second, but instead he drove off a cliff. Dipper and Mabel screamed, and Leo closed his eyes as they drove into a sign.

"Is everyone okay?"

He got a few more screams in response. Mabel looked back.

"It's getting closer!"

Leo managed to zig-zag his way out of the monster's reach as it tried to grab them. He heard Mabel retch and winced, hoping she didn't puke now. A tree suddenly flew past them and landed in their path. Because that was exactly what they needed.

"Ah!"

"Look out!"

Everyone screamed again as Leo tried to steer the car away from the tree.

Honestly, how did they manage to get into this mess in the first place?!

* * *

 _EARLIER THAT DAY_

Leo was calmly flipping through a magazine that he didn't care for, but anything was better than dealing with people.

"He's looking at it! He's looking at it!"

Also, there's the fact his amazing sister was on another boy hunt. Great.

Leo looked up in time to see the poor victim- ahem- guy look around in confusion.

"I rigged it!" He felt as if he should be bit concerned over how proud she was over fraud, but, hey, no harm, no foul. He shook his head and went back to pretending to read the magazine. _Just ignore it Leo, it'll stop soon enough_.

"Mabel,"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dipper spray a jar of- where those eyeballs? Yes, yes, they were.

"I know you're going through your whole 'Boy Crazy' phase, but I think you're overdoing it with the 'crazy' part." Leo snorted and hummed in agreement.

Mabel turned to them with a look of faux betrayal.

"What?" She blew a raspberry at us, crossing her eyes as she did so. "Come on, guys! This is our first summer away from home, apart from Leo, it's my big chance to have an epic summer romance! Leo, you agree with me, right?"

Leo felt as if he should take her side. Unfortunately, he's her older brother, that's not a part of his job description.

"I know there's a lot of fish in the sea, but, sweetie, you're scaring all the fish away."

Mabel pouted, and Dipper snickered.

"Exactly! Plus, do you really have to flirt with _every_ guy you meet?"

Leo thought back to all the times she's found a poor soul to sink her affectionate claws into and winced. She really was kind of out of control. It was, admittedly enough, hilarious though. Poor Mattress King guy…

"Mock all you want brothers," Mabel's voice brought him back from his musings. She stood straight, a determined look on her face. "But I got a good feeling about this summer."

She crossed her arms and smirked. "I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now."

Her confidence was quickly shattered though, because, at that moment, Stan walked in, choking on his own burp.

"Oh! Oh, not good, ow."

"Aww! Why!" Mabel's disgusted face was the last straw.

Leo burst into laughter, dropping the magazine in favor of holding his stomach. He gave Dipper, who was also laughing, a high five.

"All right, all right! Look alive, people! I need someone to go hammer these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Nose goes!" Leo shouted pressing a finger to his nose.

"Not it!" The twins yelled, touching their noses as well.

Soos stopped drilling in the background and raised his hand. "Uh, also not it."

Stan gave him a look. "Nobody asked you, Soos."

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that." He pulled out a chocolate bar out of nowhere and ate it. Which Leo found rude, cause, like, sharing is caring!

Stan sighed and turned to the redhead that was sitting on the other side of the counter. Jenny, if Leo remembered right.

"Wendy," Never mind. "I need you to put up this sign."

She had a magazine in her hands, like the one Leo had, only difference is that she was probably actually reading it.

"I would, but I, ugh… can't, ugh... reach it…" She pretends to reach for the sign before signing in defeat and went back to her magazine.

Leo let out a small laugh and Wendy looked up at him with a smile.

Stan sighed.

"I'd fire all of you if I could." He turned to us and put his hands together. "Alright, let's make it… eenie, meenie, miney… _you_." He pointed at Dipper and Leo gave a mental salute to the fallen soldier.

"Aw, what?" Dipper moaned in complaint. "Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods I feel like I'm being watched."

Leo tensed and sat up.

Stan rolled his eyes and pinched his nose. "Ugh this again."

"I'm telling you," Dipper insisted. "Something weird is going on in this town! Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out 'BEWARE'."

Stan took Dipper's arm and examined it. "That says 'BEWARB'." Dipper took his arm back and scratched it.

"Look, kid, the whole 'monsters in the forest' thing is just local legend drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." He pointed his thumb over to a guy in the corner giggling at Stan's bobblehead's head bobble. Just when Leo thought people couldn't get any dumber.

"So, quit being so paranoid! That's Leo's job."

"Hey! I resent that totally true comment!"

As Dipper sighed and walked out of the store, Stan turned to the older Pine kid. Leo gave him an innocent smile.

"Don't think you're off the hook, I need you to restock the shelves."

Leo groaned, but got up and went to storage. So much for easy day.

* * *

Leo was finishing up restocking the crystal balls when Dipper came rushing in with Mabel in tow.

"Leo-Lee! Come on, Dipper found some nerd book!"

"Mabel!"

Leo shook his head. He should just leave them alone, it's really not his bus- yeah, no. Curiosity killed the cat, and he always fancied himself a cat person so… nosey older brother it is!

He walked into the living room, immediately being pulled onto the couch by Mabel before she sat on the armrest.

Dipper stood in front of them with a large smile on his face and a book in his hand. It didn't look very remarkable and Leo tried to hold back a pout of disappointment. His curiosity was sated, but it was completely anticlimactic.

"It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid- "

"Yeah, you're breaching into my territory, step off." Naturally, he was ignored.

"-But, according to this book, Gravity Falls has a secret dark side!"

He opened the book up and showed them a page.

"Whoa! Shut up!" Mabel said excitedly, shoving Dipper.

"Well, meow to you too…" Leo said absentmindedly. Maybe there will be a climax to this story.

"And get this: after a certain point, the pages just… stop. Like the guy who was writing it… mysteriously disappeared."

"Sounds mysterious." Leo commented, smirking as Dipper gave him an unimpressed look. The doorbell suddenly rung, and Dipper closed his book.

"Who's that."

Whoever it was, Leo could practically feel Mabel vibrating with excitement. She probably ordered a bunch of glitter to put in her Mabel Juice.

"Welp, time to spill the beans." She knocked over a can of beans that was on the table next to them. "Boop. Beans."

She giggled and put her hands on her hips. "This girl's gotta date! Woot! Woot!" She fell into his lap, laughing.

Leo stiffened. Not Mabel Juice, then. Something way worse.

"Let me get this straight: in the half hour I was gone, you _already_ found a boyfriend?"

She grinned and nodded. Dipper turned to Leo. "And where were _you_ during this? You're supposed to scare boys away with your big brother thing!"

Leo put his hands up in surrender.

"I was being a model great nephew and doing as our dear, old Grunkle told me to do! I'm just as surprised as you are."

"What can I say?" Mabel said, shrugging. She put her hands in her sleeves and started waving them. "I guess I'm just _irre-sis-tible_!"

The doorbell rang again.

"Oh. Coming!" She ran out but stopped at the doorway. She turned and gave Leo a pointed look. "Don't scare him away."

"Fine."

With that, she bounced out of the room. Dipper turned Leo with a pointed look.

"You're going to sass him instead, aren't you?" Leo scoffed

"What kind of big brother do you take me to be? Of course, I am."

Satisfied Dipper sat on the armrest and began flipping through the book, excitedly telling Leo more about it. As they spoke, Stan walked in with a Pitt Cola in his hand.

"What'cha reading there, slick?"

Surprised, Dipper fumbled slightly, placing (read: shoving) the book behind Leo. He grabbed a random magazine and started to pretend to read it. Leo didn't have the heart, or feeling in his side, to tell him what he just picked up.

"I was just catching up on, uh… _Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine_?" Leo snorted, earning him a glare.

"That's a good issue." Stan said approvingly.

"Hey, family!" Mabel said, coming into the living room. "Say hello to my new boyfriend!"

Leo blinked, processing all the red flags that were shooting up. One, this guy was obviously way older than Mabel. Two, he smelled like he rolled around in deer pee. Three, he _looked_ like he rolled around in deer pee.

"Sup?"

Four, he sounds like a drug addict.

"Hey…"

"How's it hanging?"

Leo crossed his arms.

"You look like a what a stray cat might cough up."

Dipper hid his smile in his jacket while Stan outright laughed. Mabel gave him a glare before smiling back at the no doubt reject.

"We met at the cemetery. He's _really_ deep." She grabbed his arms and swooned. "Oh, little muscle there. That's… what a surprise."

Leo then coughed out "stash" causing Stan to give another bark of laughter. Thankfully, it didn't seem Mabel or Dipper understood, or noticed.

"So, uh, what's your name?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah," Leo drawled. "I'd _love_ to have a name to go with such a _pretty face_." Mabel gave him another glare. Leo blew her a kiss.

"Uh… Normal… MAN!" Mabel giggled.

"He means Norman." Dipper still didn't look convinced.

"Are you bleeding, Norman?" Leo looked at his face (which was gross in its own rights) and quirked an eyebrow at the red liquid on his face. Before he could say anything though, Mabel threw a pillow at his face.

"It's jam."

"I love jam!" Mabel gasped. "Look, at, this!"

Norman blinked. Even his eyes are as dead as his stench, Leo mused.

"So, you wanna go hold hands or… whatever."

 _Red flag, red flag, red flag, so many red flags!_

"Excuse you? What the fu- "

"Oh, my goodness!" Mabel interrupted, giggling. She ran out. "Don't wait up!"

Norman gave them the finger guns and walked out. Well, tried. He kept hitting walls on the way out.

"Dude's trashed."

"Leo!"

* * *

"So, anything in particular that I need to know about you, Leo?"

Leo stopped stocking the eyeballs- truly, he has reached the peak of weirdness- and turned to Wendy. She had her feet on the countertop, idly flipping her magazine. At this point, he was pretty sure that she just had it as an excuse to ignore the world.

He respected that.

"Name's Leo, you can call me Leo. I am not an artist, I am not a actor, and, as far as _you_ know, I'm not a ninja."

Wendy laughed, putting the magazine on her stomach.

"I'm sure that I can manage to find some evidence against that." Leo quirked an eyebrow.

"Which one?"

"Yes."

They both laughed. Then Dipper came into the shack, looking anxious while holding his book tightly against his chest. He grabbed Leo's hand and dragged him upstairs.

"Of course, I can come with you, little brother, it's not like I was working or in a conversation or anything." Leo rolled his eyes. Dipper ignored him, of course, and dragged him into the room and sitting him down on his bed.

"Norman's a zombie." Leo blinked, then smirked.

"Of _corpse_ , he is."

"You disgust me."

Leo laughed and laid back on the bed.

"But, seriously, a zombie? That's a bit extreme. I mean, sure he smells and looks like the dead, and he sounds like a 40-year-old chain-smoker, and- wow, okay, you might actually have point here." Dipper flailed his arms.

"Exactly!"

That's when Mabel flounced into the room with a dreamy smile on her face.

"Hello, siblings!" She went to her side of the room and started brushing her hair.

"Mabel," Dipper turned to her and put his hands on his hips. "We've gotta talk about Norman."

"Isn't he the best?" She stopped and turned to face her brothers and pointed to her cheek. There was a big red mark on her face. "Check out the smooch mark he gave me!"

" _What?!_ " The twins jumped and turned to Leo who was getting up. He went over to the closet and started rummaging through it. "Dipper, where's the bat? I'ma go bust Norman's a-!"

"No!" Mabel quickly went over to him and pulled him away from the closet. "It was just an accident with the leaf blower! I swear!"

Leo gave her an unbelieving look. There was no way that she- wait. Yeah, yeah there was.

He huffed and sat on the bed. "I'm still gonna cut an undead son of a corpse."

Mabel looked confused. "Uh, what?"

"Mabel, listen," Dipper said taking out his book. "I'm telling you that Norman is not what he seems!"

"So, you think he might be a vampire! That would be so _awesome_!" Mabel gasped happily.

"I knew I shouldn't have let you watch those movies." Leo muttered.

Dipper flipped open the book. "Guess again, sister. Sha-BAM!"

Mabel screamed, her face looking disgusted. Leo looked at the book and laughed.

"Wrong page, bro." Dipper looked at the page.

"Wait, hold on." He flipped again and then showed her the right page. "Sha-BAM!"

"A zombie?" She scoffed. "That is not _funny_ , Dipper! And, you!" She pointed over to Leo.

"I can't believe you're going along with this!" Leo shrugged.

"I'm not joking!" Dipper cried, desperately. He put the book in his jacket and started pacing. "It all adds up: the bleeding, the limp."

"The smell." Leo added.

"He never blinks! Have you noticed that?" Leo didn't, but it was probably true.

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." Mabel tried to explain, grabbing her earrings off the dresser.

"Mabel remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one!"

"Well, what about _me_ , huh? Why can't you trust me?"

"I trust you, Mabel." Leo said, causing her to smile at him. "But I don't trust _him_."

She frowned, before putting on her earring. "Beep. Boop."

"Mabel," Dipper yelled, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. "He's gonna eat your brain!"

She pushed him away.

"Listen to me, boys," Mabel said angrily. "Norman and I are going on a date at 5 o'clock," Dipper gasped, and Leo narrowed his eyes. "And I'm going to be _adorable_ and he's going to be _dreamy_!"

She poked his chest. She went over to the bed, grabbing Leo and pushing him until he was next to Dipper.

"And I am not gonna let you two ruin it with a crazy _conspiracy_!"

With that she pushed them out of the room and slammed the door shut.

Dipper groaned and leaned against Leo. "What am I gonna do?"

"Whatever it is," Leo pat his head. "I'm not letting you do it alone."

Dipper smiled.

"Come on, let's go downstairs and wait for the inevitable."

* * *

Leo was sitting on the armrest of the couch, comforting Dipper, who was in the seat. The doorbell then rang, and he looked at the weird looking owl clock. 5 o'clock, on the dot. Impressive, or creepy. He'll decide later.

"Coming!" Mabel's sing-songed, running down the stairs while putting on one her more sparkly sweaters.

She opened the door with a smile, revealing the grey skinned demon.

"Hey, Norman!" She grabbed the end of her sweater and showed it off to him. "How do I look?"

"Sparkly." He shrugged.

"Oh, Norman, you always know what to say." She happily grabbed his hand and walked out, closing the door with a little more force than needed.

Dipper sighed and looked down at his camera. "Soos was right, I don't have any real evidence."

He turned it on and a video showing Mabel and Norman playing hopscotch showed up. Leo raised his eyebrows.

"When did you stalk them? And where was I during this?"

"When they hung out and you were off doing big brother things." He said absentmindedly. Leo tried to say something else but was cut off by Dipper's self-deprecating sigh.

"I guess paranoia runs in the family, huh?" Leo joked.

"Maybe, but- wait, what?!" He yelled as he saw Norman reattach his fallen hand. "Leo, did you see this?"

He hit rewind and showed the video again to Leo.

"What the actual frick?"

"I was right! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!"

Dipper jumped off the couch and ran outside, Leo following him. "H-hey, wait up!"

He found him trying to get Stan's attention from the back of a crowd.

"For the fifth time, it's-it's not an _actual_ face!"

Dipper made a frustrated noise. "Stan! Stan!"

"He's not listening." Leo said grabbing him and pulling him away. "C'mon; I think I see Wendy."

She then pulled up in the golf cart. Leo grinned. "Wendy!"

"Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!" Dipper ran up to her. "We need to borrow the cart, so we can save our sister from a zombie!"

Wendy raised her eyebrows, before crossing her arms and smiling. She threw the keys to Leo and winked. "Try not to hit any pedestrians."

Leo smirked back. "No promises."

Dipper grinned before dragging his brother into the golf cart. Before they cold drive off, Soos stopped them.

"Dude, it's me: Soos." He held up a shovel. "This is for the zombies.

Dipper took it. "Thanks."

Leo looked at him. "Got a bat?"

Soos held up a baseball bat. "Make sure you get those piñatas."

Leo took the bat and grinned mischievously. "Sweet."

Soos gave him a finger gun and winked. Leo pressed the gas and drove off as fast as he could. As he drove, dodging trees, rocks, and the occasional animal, he could hear Dipper muttering to himself.

"Hey, you okay?" Dipper groaned.

"I should have fought more to get her to leave Norman. Now, she's probably going to get her brain eaten and become an undead monster herself! She can't become a zombie!"

"And she won't."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Cause I'm your older brother. There's no way I'm letting a member of the undead touch my baby sister."

Dipper sighed but nodded. Leo reached over and pat his head. The moment was ruined by a loud scream. Leo knew that scream, he heard every time they watched a clay animation. "Mabel!"

"Help!"

"Hold on!"

As they reached the source of the sound, they saw a bunch of- were those gnomes- trying to pin Mabel onto the ground. Oh. Oh _hell no_.

"The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody!" The gnome was standing on a rock, facing away from them said. "Just, ha, okay, get her arm there, Steve!"

"Let go of me!"

Mabel was kicking and punching away the gnomes as they came to her. Leo felt pride swelling up inside him. One of the ones she punched was knocked back a few feet and started puking rainbows. Normally, Leo would make a joke but

"What the heck is going on here?!" Dipper yelled.

"Get off my sister, you lawn decorations!"

A gnome ran past and hissed at them. It _actually_ hissed at them. Leo didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Dipper! Leo!" Mabel yelled. "Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks."

A gnome started pulling at her hair. "Hair! Hair! Hair!"

"Gnomes? Huh, I was way off." Dipper pulled out the book and started reading the section out loud. "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown."

"Well, isn't that just great!" Leo said, rolling his eyes.

He started swinging his bat at stray gnome that was getting too close for comfort. He grinned victoriously when he managed to hit it. Looking up he noticed that his sister was finally subdued and was tied down onto the ground.

"Aw, c'mon!"

"Hey, HEY! Let go of my sister!" Dipper yelled at Jeff.

"Oh! Ha ha, hey there!

Um, you know, this is all just a really big misunderstanding." Leo swung at another gnome. "You see, your sister's not in danger-,"

"She looks in danger to me."

"She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?"

"You guys are butt-faces!" She yelled before a gnome covered her mouth.

Dipper held up his shovel and pointed it at the gnome threateningly. Leo felt proud again. He raised his little siblings right.

The gnome glared at him.

"You really think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Don not trifle with the-ah!"

Dipper scooped the gnome up with the shovel and then flung it over towards Leo, who hit it with the bat. Leo laughed and threw Dipper a thumbs up. Dipper grinned back at him before cutting Mabel out with the shovel. Mabel let out a cry and knocked the gnomes holding her away. Dipper grabbed her hand and led her to the car, Leo hitting more gnomes with his bat before following them and turning on the cart.

"He's getting away with our queen! No, no, no!"

"Seatbelt. Dipper said, ever the responsible one.

Leo hit the gas pedal and drove off.

"You okay, little sister?"

"Yeah, I'm good. But, hurry! Before they come after us!"

"I wouldn't worry about it," Dipper said. "See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!" He laughed.

Leo stopped the car and looked back. The was a giant monster mad of gnomes.

"Dang."

The thing growled. "Move, MOVE!"

Leo hit the gas again, going as fast cart would allow him. He heard a thump and looked back at the gnomes to find them regrouping.

"Come back with our queen!"

"It's getting closer!"

The creature threw a bunch of gnomes at the car and they started tearing it apart.

"Hey, get off! Leo yelled, swerving the car wildly, trying to throw them off and succeeding with a few.

Mabel punched a gnome that was hanging off the cart while another jumped behind Dipper. He yelped and grabbed the gnome, hitting him against the cart.

"Shmebulock…" The gnome fell.

Another managed to crawl its way inside and clung on to Dipper's face.

"I'll save you, Dipper!" She yelled before punching him repeatedly in the face. He dazedly thanked her.

Leo grabbed a gnome that jumped onto the steering wheel and threw it at a nearby tree causing its hat to get stuck in the bark.

"Ha ha! Headshot!"

His victory was short-lived, however when the giant gnome creature threw a tree and it landed in front of the car.

"Ah!"

"Look out!"

Everyone screamed again as Leo tried to steer the car away from the tree. The golf cart spun around and landed in front of the shack, overturning as it stopped. Leo and the twins crawled out from underneath.

"You guys still breathing?" They both muttered their confirmations before screaming the monster came to a stop in front of them.

Leo grabbed his younger siblings and put them behind him, holding his arm out in front of them protectively. They gripped at his jacket's sleeves.

"Stay back, man!" Dipper yelled, picking up the shovel and throwing it at the monster. It smacked the shovel away before it could do any damage. They screamed and held onto each other but keeping a grip on Leo.

"Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?"

"Probably out conning some people." Leo answered, not taking his eye off the monster. It took a few steps forward, backing them up against the shack.

"It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!"

Dipper shook his head and too out his book. "There's gotta be a way out of this!"

"Didn't that book say that they didn't have weakness though?" Leo asked, grabbing the bat off the ground and holding it out in front of him.

Mabel took a step forward.

"I gotta do it."

"What?!" The brothers yelled at the same time.

"Mabel don't do this! Are you crazy?" Dipper whisper-yelled. Leo nodded in agreement.

"I'm with him! You can't do this!"

"Trust me."

"What?" She turned to them, a desperate look on her face.

"Guys, just this once, trust me." She whispered, furiously.

Dipper and Leo looked at each other, then at the gnomes, before looking at Mabel and nodding. Dipper took a step back and Leo let her through.

Alright, Jeff," Mabel said, walking forward. "I'll marry you."

The creature stomped its foot.

"Hot dog!" Jeff said, starting to climb down the monster.

"Thanks, Andy! Alright, left foot, there we go. Watch those fingers, Mike!"

Jeff held out a diamond ring and wiggled his eyebrows. "Eh? Eh?"

"I'm gonna puke." Leo muttered to himself, one arm wrapped around Dipper's shoulders.

Mabel smiled demurely and held out her hand, Jeff sliding the ring onto her finger. She held her hand up to her face and admired the ring.

"Bada-Bing! Bada-bam!" Jeff did a little dance. "Now let's get you back into the forest, honey."

"You may now kiss the bride!"

It took all of his willpower (which was, admittedly, a very small amount) and Dipper gripping onto his hand to keep him from charging over to them and swinging his bat into every gnome in his way.

"Well, don't mind if I do!" Jeff turned and puckered up. Mabel smiled and leaned in, before turning the leaf blower on and holding it out in front of her. Leo grinned manically.

"Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute!" Jeff held up his hands and slowly back away. "Whoa, whoa! Wh-what's goin' on?!"

As he said that, he got half-way sucked into the leaf blower.

"That's for lying to me!" She increased the power. " _That's_ for breaking my heart!"

"Ow! My face!"

"And _this_ is for messing with my brothers!" She turned to Dipper and Leo. "Which one of you wants to do the honors?"

Leo grinned and nudged Dipper forward, who happily took his place next to his twin. "On three! One, two… three!"

Dipper hit reverse on the leaf blower and it shot Jeff out at the gnome monster, causing it to explode and hundreds of gnomes to fall from the sky.

"Ah! I get you back for this!" Jeff yelled as he flew off into the forest.

Leo laughed loudly, before grabbing his bat and swinging at the gnomes that fell.

" _It's raining gnomes_! _Hallelujah, it's raining gnomes_! _A-gnome_!" He sang, batting away the gnomes that fell within his reach.

"Who's giving orders? I need orders!"

"My arms are tired!"

Mabel took the leaf blower and started taunting the gnomes with it.

"Anyone else wants some?" Dipper mocked, his hands on his hips as he smirked.

The gnomes all ran away, going into the forest. One of them got stuck in a six-pack holder. Poor, or excellent, depending on who you're talking to, timing because Gompers came and picked it up before running away.

Leo laughed and placed the bat around his shoulders. "Let's go clean up, younger Pines."

They started walking to the front of the shack when Mabel called out to them.

"Hey, guys?" They both turned to see her with her arms behind her back, looking ashamed.

"I'm, umm…" She sighed. "I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were looking out for me."

"Oh, don't be like that." Dipper smiled, waving off her apology. "You saved our butts back there."

"Yeah," Leo grinned. "And, this allowed me to practice my swing."

He got into a batter's position and started to do a few swings. Mabel smiled sadly and picked a leaf out of her hair.

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes."

"Look on the bright side," Dipper shrugged. "Maybe the next one _will_ be a vampire!" Leo snorted.

"Then it's a good thing this bat is wooden."

"Ohhoho, you're just saying that." She punched them on their shoulders. Dipper held out his arms.

"Awkward sibling hug?" Mabel and Leo smiled.

"Awkward sibling hug." Mabel and Dipper hugged each other, before patting each other's backs twice. "Pat. Pat."

"Well, this has been a fun day!" Leo said, wrapping his arms around their shoulders, Mabel on his left and Dipper on his right. The bat was still loosely hanging in his right hand. "But, like I said, let's go get cleaned up. I think there are leaves where no leaf should be."

Dipper and Mabel laughed and shoved at him but relaxed into his hold and walked to the shack. Once inside, Dipper kicked the door shut and they stopped in front of Stan.

"Yeesh! You three get hit by a bus or something? Ahah!" He laughed and slammed his hand onto the counter.

Leo rolled his eyes and moved forward, his siblings following him without a word.

"Uh, hey!" They all stopped and looked back to Stan. He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "Um, Leo overstocked some inventory,"

"Excuse you?"

"So, uh… how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?"

"Really?" Mabel said, hopefully.

"What's the catch?" Dipper crossed his arms.

" _I_ overstocked the inventory?" Leo put his hand on his chest in offense. Whether it was real or fake, no one could tell.

"That catch is that you do it 'fore I change my mind. And yes, _you_ did. Now, take something."

He opened the register and started distributing money inside. The siblings all looked around the shack, looking for anything that caught their interests.

Leo went a bit more towards the back and found something that caught his eye. It was a green and black bracelet that wrapped around three times before connecting to a silver question mark. The strap on top was made of green rope, the middle, where the question was located, was black leather, and the third was also green rope. They were all connected to a silver clasp on the back. He grinned and took it. It matches his outfit.

"Found something!" He held up the bracelet. Stan nodded, and Leo put it on.

"I'm also keeping the bat."

"I said _one thing_!"

"I'm a rebellious teenager, you can't tell me what to do!"

"Hmm," Dipper grabbed a white and blue hat with a pine tree in the middle before going over to a mirror and putting it on. "That oughta do it." He smiled in satisfaction.

"And I will have a…" Mabel grabbed something out of the box, twirled before holding out a grappling hook in the air.

"Grappling hook! Yes!"

Stan looked a little worried before turning to Dipper. "Wouldn't she rather have a, uh, doll, or something?" Mabel shot it at the ceiling and it shot her up.

"Grappling hook!" She yelled excitedly.

"Fair enough!

* * *

After showering and de-leafing his body, Leo got into his pajamas and went to his room, a few doors down from the twins'. Getting into his way too small bed (he should really talk to Stan about that), he fiddled with his bracelet, smiling when the silver question mark caught the light of the lantern that was next to his bed. He glanced at the baseball bat that was harmlessly leaning against the wall with a smile.

"Welp, looks like it won't be such a boring summer after all."

He turned off the light and curled up, falling into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 **Welcome!** **This is my first time writing for Gravity Falls, which is weird since I've been in the fandom since the show aired. It's also my first time writing an OC insert story. Lots of firsts!** **Leave a comment down below and tell me what you think!**

 **Also, I was wondering if I should continue to do each episode in one chapter, like this, or separate them into two parts. What do you guys think? I'm planning this story to mostly follow canon, with a few diverging points here, and there, with a few chapters in between the canon episodes to either develop relationships or whatever else.**

 **Anyway, this is how I imagine Leo too look like:**

 **Brown eyes and hair, fluffy and slightly unkempt with the cowlick in the back that all the Pines seem to have. He has a bit of a slouch. His outfit consists of a green T-shirt underneath an open black hooded jacket with a gray hood. Faded blue jeans and black and white sneakers. For accessories he has his bracelet, which is described up in the story, and a pair of silver stud earrings.**

 **And, with that said, goodbye!**


	2. The Legend of the Gobblewonker

"Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?" Mabel, as Sir Syrup said.

"I'm always ready!" Dipper, as Mountie Man replied.

"Then you know what this means!" Mabel and Dipper grinned at each other.

"Syrup race!" They yelled before tilting their heads back and holding the bottle so the nozzle was facing them. "Ahh!"

"It's a close race, folks!" Leo said in an announcer voice. "Sir Syrup has gotten a head start but- oh! Would you look at that? Mountie Man's not giving in!"

"Go, Sir Syrup!"

"Go, Mountie Man!"

"This will truly be the race of the century, ladies and gentlemen!"

"Go, go, go, go!" They chanted.

The Pines siblings were all in the kitchen for breakfast. Leo had made pancakes that morning and was the last one to eat. He didn't know which syrup to choose from so his lovely younger siblings were having a race to see which brand was worthy of gracing his pancakes.

"Almost… Almost…" Mabel tapped the bottom of the bottle, causing the syrup string to fall into her mouth.

"Yes!" She started choking. "I won! Here you go, wonderful older brother of mine! Your champion awaits!"

Leo laughed and took the Sir Syrup bottle from her outstretched hand. "Why, thank you, my lady. I shall make good use of it."

He poured the syrup onto his pancakes before he dug in. Dipper, who had finished outing, picked up the newspaper that was in front of him and started reading it. You know, like an old man.

Suddenly, he looked excited. "Ho ho, no way! Hey, guys, check this out."

He held out the newspaper so that his siblings could see. Leo looked at it and saw a human-sized hamster ball ad. It looked cool, but he was _not_ going inside a closed off plastic ball. Also, he didn't think that Dipper would be into that kind of stuff. Mabel, on the other hand.

"Human-sized hamster balls?" Mabel gasped happily and stood up on her chair. "I'm human-sized!"

"Mabel, sit back down before you fall." She did as was told but started swinging her feet back and forth.

"No, no, Mabel, _this_." Dipper pointed to the ad on the next page. It was a monster hunting contest. Now _that_ was something Dipper would be more into. "We see weirder stuff than that every day! We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?"

"Mm-mm" Leo shook his head, not wanting to speak with a mouth full of pancake.

"Nope," Mabel said. "Just memories. And this beard hair!" She held up a lock of gray hair up to Dipper's face.

"Why did you save that?" She made the ' _I dunno_ ' sound.

"Mabel," Leo swallowed the rest of the pancake and pointed his fork at her. "Get rid of that; it probably has fleas or something."

It was then that their dear, old Stan walked in nothing but some boxer shorts, a wifebeater, some slippers, his fez, and a gold chain around his neck. Honestly, Leo _did not_ need to see so much of his Great Uncle so early in the morning.

"Good morning, knuckleheads. You three know what today is?" He wiggled his eyebrows, pointing at them.

"Um…" Dipper looked unsure. "Happy anniversary?"

" _Mazel tov_!" Mabel yelled, throwing her arms into the air.

Leo held up the syrup bottle. " _L'Chaim_!"

He started squeezing syrup into his mouth before coughing. He started pounding at his chest.

Stan wacked Dipper upside the head. "It's Family Fun Day, genius!"

Leo, finally getting rid of the cough, rubbed the back of Dipper's head, trying to sooth the pain while Stan walked over to the fridge and took out the milk carton.

"We're cutting off work and having one of those, y'know," He sniffed the carton. "Bonding type deals."

"Grunkle Stan," Dipper said uncertainly, fixing his hat. "Is this gonna be anything like our last family bonding day?"

Leo thought back to when Stan had them help him counterfeit money. He then got annoyed again when he remembered how Stan dissed his art skills. Franklin looked every bit of the man that he was!

"The county hail was so cold" Mabel whispered with a shudder. Leo nodded grimly, shoving another forkful of pancake into his mouth.

"Alright," Stan sighed and held his arms out, walking over to them and wrapping his arms around Dipper and Mabel, squeezing them together with Leo in the middle. "Maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker-"

"That's an understatement."

"But I swear, today we're gonna have some _real_ family fun! Now, who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?" Leo coughed.

 _Oh, my God, he's going to murder us!_ Leo thought, choking on his pancake.

"Yay!" The twins yelled happily, throwing their arms in the air.

"Wait, what?" Dipper finally processed what Stan said.

* * *

Leo was not having a fun time. He was not. He was blindfolded, strapped into a vehicle with the _most reckless driver to ever exist_ and was constantly being jostled around with ever turn they took. His hands hurt from the white-knuckled grip he kept on the door and armrest, but he was sure as hell not letting go of it.

He and the twins grunted as another sharp turn threw them to the side.

"Heh, blindfolds never lead to anything good." Leo heard Dipper mutter.

"Wow! I feel like all my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers!" He heard Mabel say in amazement before hearing Dipper's laugh.

"Really? Cause my senses are heightened too, especially my sense of fear and danger! I see my death!" Leo moaned out, feeling sick as he was sent flying in his seat. Did they hit a pothole? Or a pedestrian!

"Whoa! Grunkle Stan, are _you_ wearing a blindfold?" Dipper asked.

"I feel like a blindfold would actual _help_ him drive better." Leo received a smack on his head.

"Haha, nah. But with _these_ cataracts, I might as well be." Oh my God, he was going to _die_! "What is that, a woodpecker?"

The car went through something that Leo couldn't see because _his crazy Grunkle blindfolded them_ and they all let out a scream, except, of course for the said crazy Grunkle. A few more crazy turns, bumps and some mild cursing (curtesy of Leo), they got to wherever they were going and were finally let out of the car.

Leo took off his seatbelt, threw open the door with much more force than was necessary and got out. His legs were wobbly, and he leaned against, his guess was Dipper, to steady himself.

"I am _not_ getting into another car with you Stanford!"

Stan cackled. "Okay, okay. Open 'em up!"

Leo ripped off his blindfold, already glaring at a smiling Stan.

"Ta-da! It's fishin' season!"

"Fishing?" Mabel asked uncertainly.

"What are you playing at, old man?" Dipper asked, pointing at him.

"You mean to tell me," Leo grabbed the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "That you blindfolded us and almost killed us to go _fishing_?"

"Yup! You're gonna love it. The whole town's out here!"

The siblings looked around to see a bunch of people out on boats. They recognized Lazy Susan, Manly Dan and his family, and even Toby Determined and Tyler Cutebiker.

"That's some quality family bonding!" Stan said happily.

"Grunkle Stan," Dipper started, crossing his arms. "Why do you wanna _bond_ with us all of a sudden?"

Leo silently agreed, his eyes narrowing suspiciously at Stan. Was he going to drown them when they weren't looking? The car ride here was proof enough that the man was probably out to kill them.

Stan turned and started walking up to them.

"Come on, this is gonna be great!" He furrowed his eyebrows. "I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me; they don't 'like' or 'trust' me."

"I can't imagine why." Leo snarked, rolling his eyes. Despite the snappy comment he made, he felt his annoyance slip away into more of a sympathetic feeling at the old man's story. Damn him for having emotions.

"I think he actually wants to fish with us." Mabel quietly whispered over to her brothers. Leo couldn't help but agree.

"Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sucks up!" Stan had his hands behind his back, before taking them out and putting a hat on each of their heads. "Pow! Pines family fishing hats!"

Leo took of his hat to find it said "Eon". He raised his eyebrow and looked over to his siblings. Their hats had their respective names on them, though Dipper's said 'Dippy', the 'E' in 'Mabel' was backwards and the 'L' in had peeled off when he looked.

"That's-that's hand stitching, you know." Leo furrowed his eyebrows.

"Who's Eon?" Stan chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.

"There wasn't enough room to spell out 'Leonardo' and I used the last 'L' on Mabel's hat, so..."

Leo shrugged and put it on. "It's the thought that counts… I guess." Stan grinned at him.

"It's just gonna be you, me, and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!"

"Ten hours?" Dipper yelled incredulously.

"That's excessive." Leo crossed his arms.

"I brought the joke book!" Stan sang, holding up a _1001 Yuk 'Em Ups_ book. He couldn't help himself; Leo grinned.

"I'm sure we can get a _reel_ good laugh out of those." Dipper looked horrified.

"Ha-ha, Leo, you're _kraken_ me up!"

"Oh, my _Cod_! That joke was a load of _carp_!"

"No! NO!" Dipper yelled, staring in disbelief at his older brother. He gave a panicked look to his sister as she looked at him worriedly.

"There has to be a way out of this." She said. Looking over to her Grunkle and ( _the traitor_ ) older brother.

Leo and Stan were cut out from their pun contest when Old Man McGucket came frantically rushing in, pushing people out of his way.

"I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!" He crashed into the fishing pole stand, flipped over the bait table and slapped the sub out of a man's hands before stopping in front of another man and grabbing his shoulders. "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!

He started doing a frantic dance, making weird noises as he did so. Leo stared at him in confusion. This town just kept getting weirder and weirder.

"Aww," Mabel cooed. "He's doing a happy jig!"

"Noo!" McGucket grabbed Mabel's shoulders causing Leo to grab the fishing rod out of Stan's hands and march over to them. "It's a jig of great _danger_!" He wailed desperately.

Leo held the fishing rod between McGucket and the twins.

"Hands off!" He snapped.

McGucket squealed and stumbled back before a man came out of the shack with a spray bottle.

"Hey, hey! Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers?" He sprayed him. "This is your last warning, dad!"

Leo felt a bit of pity as he watched the old man squirm and cower from the spray bottle.

"But I got proof this time, by gummity!"

McGucket led everyone to the dock, where a broken boat was floating in the water. Well, floating was a strong word. More like _very slowly_ sinking with style.

"Behold!" He yelled dramatically, pointing the ruined boat. "It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like… like this gentleman right here!"

He pointed over to Stan, who was picking his ear, causing Leo to snort in amusement. "Huh?"

"It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island!" He pointed over to a silhouetted island that was covered in a mysterious fog. "YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!"

He grabbed onto his son's arm and started pulling at it. He let go once Sherriff Blubs spoke out.

"Attention all units! We got ourselves a crazy old man!" Leo winced and gave a sympathetic look over to the old man as everyone laughed at him. He didn't necessarily believe the crazy story, but, damn, was this town being a bit harsh towards him.

McGucket sighed and walked off. "Aw, donkey spittle! Aw, banjo polish!"

"Well, that happened. Now let's untie this boat and get out on the lake!" Stan said before stepping into the rowboat and started untying the roped from the dock. Leo went over and helped steady the boat as it started to move.

"Mabel, did you hear what that old dude said?"

" _Aw, donkey shpittle_!"

"Mabel!" Leo called out. "No swearing in hillbilly!"

Naturally, Leo was ignored. He was gonna have to do something about that one day...

"The other thing. If we can snag a photo of it, we can split the prize money fifty-fifty." Mabel gasped happily.

"That's _two_ fifties!"

"Imagine what you can do with five, hundred, dollars!"

Mabel turned and stared off into the distance. Leo walked over to them and gave Mabel a weird look.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing!" He turned to Mabel and started snapping in her face, calling her name out.

Mabel then turned around, a wide, maniacal smile on her face. "Dipper, I'm one million percent on board with this plan" She said seriously. Leo raised his eyebrows.

"What plan?" Mabel gave him a wide smile.

"The one where we go hunt the Gobblewonker and take a picture, so we can have that prize money!"

Leo frowned. "You're going to _what_?"

"Hunt the- "

"I heard what you said!" He placed his hands on his hips. "You do realize that this monster could maybe not even exist right? Or worse, it does!"

"How is that worse?" Dipper asked.

"I don't know, maybe," Leo started counting off his fingers. "It could kill you, you get away and it follows you to the town, it could actually be a demon from another dimension looking to trick gullible humans into opening a portal so that they could bring about the apocalypse…!" With each thing listed off, Leo could feel the cold grip of anxiety grip at his heart.

"Leo!" Mabel grabbed his arms and shook him. "First of all, that last one was really far-fetched- "

"You don't know that."

"Second, it'll be fine! I promise, okay?"

"You got kidnapped by _gnomes_! I'm not listening to you!" Mabel shrugged and hummed.

"Fair enough." Dipper shook his head.

"But, come on! A thousand dollars is a lot!"

"It's really not due to inflation." Leo muttered.

"And we could split it three ways instead of two!" Mabel gasped.

"How much would that be?"

"It's summer vacation, don't make me do math!" Leo argued. Dipper ran up to Stan.

"Grunkle Stan!" He placed his arm on Stan's shoulder. "Change of plans: we're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!"

He ran back to Mabel and they both started cheering, "Monster hunt! Monster hunt!"

"Monster hunt!" McGucket- where the hell did he come from, Leo thought- chimed in. "Monster…"

He took one look at the Pines family's faces and took a step back.

"Eh… I'll go." He ran away. Leo crossed his arms and huffed.

"I'm still not too sure about this monster hunt."

"You dudes say somethin' about a monster hunt?" Soos said, pulling up in a boat labelled 'S. S. Cool Dude'.

"Soos!" Mabel yelled excitedly, walking up to him.

"Wassup, hambone!" They fist bumped and then made an explosion noise. "Dude you can totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs;" He pat the boat. "Normal boat stuff."

Leo made an exasperated noise. " _Soos_! Don't encourage this!"

"No, _do_ encourage this!" Dipper argued, crossing his arms stubbornly.

"Alright, alright," Stan interjected. "Let's think this through."

"Thank you!" Leo exclaimed, earning a glare from Dipper.

"Ya kids could go waste your time on some epic monster-finding adventure, _or_ , you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!"

Leo face palmed as the twins looked between Soos, who was doing the robot, and Stan, who was sniffing his armpits. When they looked over the fog clouded island, he knew that he lost them.

"So, whaddaya say?" Stan propped his knee on the boat's seat and rested his arm on it.

"Uh, Grunkle Stan…?" Stan opened his eyes to see Leo with an awkward look on his face. He pointed over to the water, the sound of laughter and the motor boat's horn sounding through the air. They could distantly hear Mabel yell "We made the right choice!"

"They left." Stan's smile dropped, before he glared after them.

"Ingrates!" He yelled, shaking his fists in their direction. "Aw, who needs 'em?" He sat down and gestured towards a box dead fish. "I got a whole box of creepy fishing lures to keep _me_ company."

Leo chuckled and got into the boat next to him. "Don't forget your favorite great nephew!"

Stan sighed. "Why didn't you go with them? I figured your paranoia would make you want to go and keep them safe."

"I do." Leo admitted, shrugging his shoulders. He put on one of the lifejackets that were on the boat and the hat as well. "But, you almost killed us to get us out here for some quality family bonding and, damn it, we are going to fucking _bond_!" He said determinedly. Stan gave him a long look, before smirking.

"Didn't take you for the swearing type." Stan said, watching him fumble around with the line in amusement.

"I try to watch my language around the twins. Maya is already a bad influence, so I'm forced to set a good-ish example."

"Doesn't seem like you mind too much around me." Leo paused, and gave Stan a once over. He was leaning back on the boat, his feat crossed in front of him and his arms behind his back, revealing the sweat stains on his armpits. He raised his eyebrows.

"I don't think I need to worry about _you_ being bothered by my language." Stan chuckled as he continued.

Leo huffed in annoyance as the line seemed to get even more tangled. He turned to Stan, who was desperately trying to hold in his laughter. In the blandest voice he could muster, he said,

"I don't know how to do this."

Stan burst into laughter, the boat shaking. "You're alright, kid."

"Excuse you, I'm _the best_ , thank you very much." Stan scoffed, but didn't bother to hide the smile on his face. Grabbing the line, he started untangling it.

"Well, first, let's undo this mess." Leo smiled sheepishly. "Second, before anything else, I like to choose some good bait." He turned to the box again, flies buzzing around it, and cringed in disgust.

"Maybe we should go get more." Leo offered, standing up and getting out of the boat. Stan followed his lead and hopped off the boat haphazardly, almost giving Leo a heart attack when the boat came dangerously close to tipping over with him inside. Stan gave him a smirk and patted his back, none too gently, before they started walking over to the shack.

"So," Stan started, "Who's Maya? A girlfriend?" Leo chuckled.

" _Fuck_ , no." He laughed. "She's my best friend, dating her would be weird."

"Huh." Stan rubbed his chin.

"Plus, she's super in love with _her_ girlfriend, who happens to be the jealous type. I value my life, thank you."

Stan's mouth made an 'O' shape before he nodded. "So, no pretty lady, or fella, in your life?"

"Nope." He popped the 'P'. They reached the shack and opened the door, a loud chime signaling their arrival.

"C'mon, you're a _Pines_! You gotta be batting the ladies away with a stick!" Stan wiggled his eyebrows and nudged him with his elbow. Leo laughed.

"Nah, Maya does that for me. She's _also_ the jealous type and, since I'm her best friend, she refuses to let anyone 'take away what belongs to her'." He held up his hands and did the finger quotes motion. Stan chuckled and slapped his back.

"Kid, your friend sounds like a riot." Leo grinned mischievously and nodded, ignore the slight pain on his back.

" _Oh_ , she is. One time, we went camping for the summer, right? And- "

The bell chimed again and this time Dipper, Mabel and Soos came in. The atmosphere felt very awkward. After a few seconds of staring and shifting, Leo finally coughed, breaking the silence and gaining everyone's attention.

"Thought you guys would be on the island by now." Dipper rubbed the back of his neck.

"We, uh, we needed sunscreen." Leo snorted.

"Well, don't let us keep you." He nodded and went off the find the sunscreen, Soos and Mabel following him.

"You should go with them." Leo started at Stan's voice. He turned to him and internally winced. The old man looked so resigned.

"What? No! I- "

"Kid listen to me." Stan placed his hands firmly on Leo's shoulders and looked him in the eye. "One day, you're gonna look back on today and you're gonna feel like absolute shit 'cuz you didn't go on this adventure."

"But, I- "

"It's nice that you would rather spend it with your crazy Grunkle," He smiled. "But I know that if anything were to happen to those kids, you'd beat yourself over it." Leo sighed.

"You're right."

"Course I am! Now, go, before they leave." Leo got out of his hold and walking to the door, he stopped and looked back to Stan.

"Hey, Grunkle Stan?"

"Yeah, kid?" Leo smirked.

"You smell worse than the bait, old man!" Stan grunted and threw a can from the shelf at him.

Leo laughed and dodged before running outside. He looked around and looked for the S. S. Cool Dude. He managed to spot it (honestly, it wasn't that hard, the boat is obnoxiously big compared to the rowboats that littered the water) and ran towards it.

"Leo!" Mabel squealed happily, seeing her older brother climb aboard.

"One side, losers! Leo has arrived!" Mabel ran up to him and jumped into his arms. Leo laughed and caught her, holding her up as Dipper came out of the control area.

"Leo!" He yelled happily. "You decided to join us?"

"Well," He placed Mabel down and walked further into the boat. "Can't let you two go off and get yourselves killed, now can I?"

"Ey, dude, glad to see you aboard!" Soos said.

"Yeah, now the whole family's here!" Mabel said excitedly. Leo was about to correct her- Stan wasn't here, now, was he? - when the boat's horn sounded, and they moved from the dock. He sighed.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Alright," Dipper said, harms behind his back and pacing back and forth on the boat. "If we wanna win this contest, we've gotta do it right!" He smashed his left fist against his right palm and turned to face them. He put his left hand on his hip and pointed the other at them. "Think! What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?"

"You're a side character, then you die within the first five minutes of the movie." Soos said. He thought for a moment before looking panicked. "Dude am I a side character?! Do y'ever think about stuff like that?"

Leo chuckled and patted his back. "That's called having an existential crisis, big guy." He frowned, and then looked panicked as well. "Wait, _am_ I a side character? That'd be pretty sad that I'm not even playing the main role in my own life!"

"Guys, guys, focus!" Dipper snapped. "Anyway, the problem is camera trouble!" He shook his head. "Say big foot shows up- Soos, be Big Foot?"

Soos turned around and pretended to take a step before turning his head with a goofily shocked expression on his face. Leo chuckled and rested his arms on Mabel's head. She pouted up at him and he gave a sunny smile back.

Dipper fake gasped. "There he is! Bigfoot!" He cried dramatically and started to pat his vest. "Oh-oh, no camera!" He pulled a camera out of his jacket. "Oh, wait, here's one! Aw, no film!"

He put the camera away before giving them a serious look. "You see? You see what I'm doing here?"

He circled his arms around each other.

"I see that I'm going to have to sign you up for acting lessons. Honestly, little brother, you can do better than _that_ train wreck." Leo snarked, smirking when Dipper gave him a frustrated glare.

"Dude's got a point, though." Soos piped up, Mable making noises of agreement.

"He does," Leo admitted. Dipper perked up slightly. "But he also needs lessons on acting."

He was being salty, he knew it. But Leo was still a bit peeved that they were out here risking their lives for a picture of a creature that may not even exist. So many things could go wrong! What if the boat runs out of gas or gets a whole and sinks? Or what if they got lost and couldn't even _get_ to the boat in the first place? Leo mentally sighed. He should've fought more to keep them from coming. Or kidnap them and lock them away.

Y'know, for their own good.

"Okay, everybody, let's test our cameras out!"

Dipper's enthusiastic voice brought him back from his worrying. He looked over to see Soos looking directly into the flash of a polaroid and then pressing the button to take a picture. Once the flash went off, he started flailing and threw the camera overboard.

"Aw, dude!"

"You see? This exactly why you need back up cameras! We still have sixteen!" Dipper smiled proudly. Leo raised his hand.

"I, uh, I don't have a camera." Dipper turned to him, the smile never fading.

"Check your jacket!" Leo patted down his lifejacket, frowning when he felt something. He opened it and inside were three cameras.

"How the…"

"Ah! Bird!" Mabel threw her camera at a seagull that was flying overhead.

"Fifteen! Okay, guys, I repeat: don't lose your cameras!" He said in an exasperated voice.

"Wait, lose your cameras?" Soos asked before chucking two of them into the water.

"DON'T!"

"Dude, I just threw two away."

"Thirteen!" Dipper made fists with his hands. "Alright! We still have thirteen camera- "He pounded his fist onto the table, accidentally crushing the camera that was there. "Twelve. We have twelve cameras."

"Eh," Leo shrugged taking on of the cameras out of his jacket. "That's still excessive." He then tossed the camera into the water. Dipper looked like he was about to pop a vein.

"Eleven!"

"So, what's the plan?" Mabel chimed in, holding two cameras over the boat's edge. "Throw more cameras overboard or what?"

Dipper gave her a panicked look.

"NO! No!" He sighed and calmed himself down. "Okay, you'll be lookout, Soos can work the steering wheel, and I'll be captain." He pointed to himself.

"What?" Mabel dropped the bag of cameras. "Why do you get to be captain? What about Mabel? Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel!" She chanted.

"And what about me?" Leo interjected, his arms crossed. "I didn't even _get_ a role!"

"I'm not sure it's a good idea to let you be captain, Mabel. And, you!" He gave Leo a pointed look. "You willingly threw out a camera!"

"So did Soos and Mabel! Your argument is invalid." Mabel got his attention again.

"What about co-captain?" Dipper put his hands on his hips.

"There's no such thing as co-captain." Mabel gave a vague expression.

"Aw, whoops!" She threw a camera over her shoulder and into the water. Leo chuckled.

"Okay fine!" Dipper panicked. He held his arms out in front of him, as if he was trying to calm a wild animal. Which wasn't to far off, considering how she acted sometimes. "You can be co-captain."

"Can I be associate co-captain?" Soos piped up.

"As co-captain, I authorize that request!" Leo raised his hand.

"What about me? I still don't have a role." Mabel clasped her hands together and grinned widely.

"You can be directive co-captain!" Leo smirked.

"Sweet."

"Well," Dipper interjected, holding his hands up. "Well, as first co-captain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this." He gestured a large barrel full of fish food.

"Are we sure that fish food is going to lure out a monster? For all we know the fish _are_ the food." Leo said. Mabel then gasped dramatically.

"Fish are friends, not food!"

"Not in this case, Mabel tree." Soos watched the exchange, before looking down at the barrel curiously.

"Permission to taste some?" He asked, gesturing over to the barrel. The siblings stared at him for a moment.

"Granted."

"Permission co-granted."

"Permission directive co-granted."

"Permission associate co-granted." Soos finally said before grabbing a piece and licking it. He then gagged and threw it away, wiping his tongue desperately. The siblings burst into laughter.

"Dude, I don't know what I expected that to taste like!" Leo chuckled before tensing, the feeling of being watched coming over him. He looked around to see Stan looking over at them. He gave him a small smile and a wave. Stan nodded and went back to fishing.

After everyone finally calmed down, Soos started the boat and they went on to Scuttlebutt Island.

"So…" Leo said slowly. "We're looking for a-a what exactly?"

"A Gobblewonker." Dipper answered, looking out at the ocean intensely. Leo nodded.

"Uh-huh… Any idea what this Gobblewonker looks like?"

"Nope."

"None?"

"Nu-uh."

Leo placed his hands together, fingers pointed to the sky and inhaled deeply. He then exhaled and moved his hands so his fingers pointed to Dipper and walked towards Mabel. Somehow, the girl had gotten her hands on a pelican and was doing a ventriloquist act with it.

"Leo!" She giggled and then made the pelican talk. "What's shakin', hot bacon!"

Leo laughed and sat down. "Mabel, how'd you get a pelican?" Mabel smiled innocently.

"Don't ask questions if you don't want the answers."

"Fair enough."

Mabel beamed and gestured towards the pelican. "Check this out!" She turned towards the pelican. "Hey! How's it going?"

" _It's going awesome_! _Bow bow, buh bow bow_!" She used a deeper voice for the pelican, moving its beak.

Leo clapped and Dipper turned around, giving them an annoyed look.

"Mabel, leave that thing alone.

" _Aw, I don't mind none_!" As Mabel, she said, "Hey, look, I'm drinking water! _Twinkle, twinkle little…_ "

She ended up choking on the water and coughing. Leo immediately was by her side, patting her back until she stopped coughing. Unfortunately for her, the pelican flew away.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing lookout?" Dipper asked. Mabel grinned.

"Look out!" She threw a volleyball at Dipper's arm causing him to grunt in pain and step away from her as she grinned in satisfaction.

"Mabel," Leo said in a scolding voice. "We don't throw volleyballs at people." He paused and smirked. "We spike them."

"Leo!" He laughed.

"Kidding, kidding!" Dipper huffed at him with a pout as he rubbed his arm. Mabel waved her hands around.

"Heh, heh. But, seriously, I'm on it. Whoa!" They all yelped in surprised as the boat jolted to a stop as they crashed on land.

"Mabel!"

"See? We're here! I'm a lookout genius. Hamster ball, here we come!"

Everyone got off the boat and onto the sand. Even through his shoes, Leo could tell that the sand was wet and cringed at the thought of having to get rid of any stray sand that clung to his clothing. He walked next to Mabel, gripping her shoulders to keep her close to him. He'd do the same with Dipper, but the little bastard had gone in front and was eagerly looking for any sign of the Gobblewonker. It didn't help that he had the lantern so he was needed up front. As they walked, the feeling of being watched washed over him again and he gripped Mabel tighter.

"Hey, dudes, check it out!" Soos said, pointing over to a sign that they had passed. He covered the 'Scuttle' part out with his arm, "Butt island."

He and Mabel started laughing.

"Soos, you rapscallion!" Leo shook his head.

"That reminds me; who came up with these names anyway? I mean," He waved one hand in the air. " _Scuttlebutt Island_? What does that even mean? And don't get me started on Gobblewonker."

"What about Gobblewonker?" Soos asked.

"It sounds like someone was trying to say gobstopper with their mouth full or something! Also, it sounds like a discount Loch Ness Monster!" Mabel and Soos laughed at his exasperation. Mabel then turned to Dipper with a grin.

"Hey! Why aren't you laughing? Are you _scared_?" She teased. Dipper crossed his arms defensively.

"Pssh! Yeah, right! I'm not-!" Mabel cut him off by blowing a raspberry and poking his nose.

"Yeah, you are!" She started continuously poking him and blowing raspberries.

"Hey! Quit…! Stop! Mabel!" Dipper cried out, holding his arms above his head to shield himself from her. Leo picked Mabel up by her underarms and placed her on his opposite side, so he was in between the twins.

"Mabel, stop annoying your brother. He's sensitive." Dipper made a noise of agitation.

"I am not!" He threw his arms in the air, hitting a leaf from a low hanging branch. "Ow!" He held his red arm close to his chest, staring at the branch as if it personally offended him and everything he believed in. Mabel giggled and Leo gave him the 'I told you so' look.

Before he could say anything, they heard a loud growling noise. Leo immediately tensed, expecting the worst. Mabel gasped and clung onto his arm, Dipper behind her looking around with a freaked-out expression.

"Dude, did you guys hear that?" Soos asked, coming up behind them.

"You mean the sound of our deaths? Yes."

"What was that? Was it your stomach?" Mabel asked Soos. He laughed.

"Nah, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises." Mabel moved away from Leo and placed her head on Soos' stomach. After a few moments, she smiled with stars in her eyes.

"Wow… so majestic." She said in awe. Just then, a possum ran by and stole their lantern. Dipper gasped.

"Our lantern!" Dipper reached out in the direction the lantern went off to before putting his hands over his eyes and squinting. "Aw, I can't see anything!"

"Hold on." Leo reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Unlocking it, he turned on the flashlight and moved his phone around. A soft, pale light just barely illuminated the path in front of them. "Well, it's not very strong, but it's better than nothing."

" _Dude_ , I dunno man," Soos gulped. "Maybe this, uh… Maybe this isn't worth it."

Leo glared at him.

"Oh, _now_ you wanna not do this? Couldn't you have this revelation back when we were safely on the docks?" He demanded. Soos gave a sheepish smile and shrugged.

"Not worth it?" Dipper questioned, incredulously. "Guys, imagine what would happen if we get that picture!"

"I imagine they'll say it was fake and give to some other nutjob." Leo deadpanned. But what he said went completely ignored by Dipper, who was daydreaming, and Mabel, who seemed to join in his daydream. Was this a twin thing? Is that what twins do? Leo will never understand.

"I'm in!"

"Me too!"

"Guys, why don't we think about this…?" Leo trailed off as he noticed the twins run off.

"Alright, dudes, I'm coming!" Soos called out, running after them. Leo growled and broke a camera as petty revenge.

"I'm going to kill them." He fumed. "I'm going to _fucking_ kill them." He, in great detail, went off to described how he was going to commit familicide.

He held his phone out in front of him (those idiots left without the light) and started to walk in their direction, leaving behind a colorful trail of words in his wake.

* * *

Leo's eye twitched as Soos tried to beat-box.

"My name is Mabel, it rhymes with table!" Also, Mabel was trying to rap.

Resisting the urge to rub his temples in annoyance, he looked forward, trying to ignore the sound of Soos spitting into his hand.

"It also rhymes with… glabel It also rhymes with… shmabel!"

"Dude, we should be writing this down!"

 _Please don't_ , Leo thought desperately. Last thing he wanted was for them to work on it at the shack.

"Guys, guys, guys! You hear something?" Dipper held up his camera.

Leo heard the growling noise from earlier, and then the cawing of a flock of birds that started to fly overhead. His irritation was quickly replaced by dread and fear.

"This is it! This is it!" Dipper cheered. He and Mabel started punching each other playfully in their excitement.

"Yes, yes, yes! Hoo, hoo, hoo!" Leo groaned as they started walking _towards_ the noise.

"This is how people die in horror movies, you know. By being stupid and going towards the scary noise instead of getting out of there."

Soos picked up a large stick from the ground and made his way in front of the group. Leo noticed a silhouette growing as they got nearer and gulped, knowing that his siblings wouldn't be satisfied until they've gotten a closer look. Thankfully, he didn't have to wrangle the twins into staying put because Soos stopped them all and they ducked behind a log.

"Everyone: get your cameras ready." Dipper ordered, holding up his own. Soos gave a determined look and held up his while Mabel turned hers on with a bright smile. Leo shook his head before doing the same to his and holding it up.

"Ready? Go!"

Soos started yelling and jumped over the lo, running towards the silhouette and snapping random pictures. The siblings follow him, but as they got closer, they realized that the silhouette was just a wrecked boat with a bunch of beavers there. Leo watched as the beavers spoke to each other and then hugged, his irritation slowly rising with every snap of Soos' camera.

"But… but what about the noise, then? I heard a monster noise!"

They heard the 'monster noise' again, but it turned out to be a beaver chewing on a rusty chainsaw, causing it to activate.

"Sweet! Beaver with a chainsaw!" Soos marveled, snapping pictures of the beaver.

"Guess that old guy was crazy after all." Dipper said dejectedly.

"He did use the word 'scrapdoodle'." Mabel responded.

" _Well_ , I'm glad we completely _wasted_ our time here." Leo hissed. "Now, we can go back to Grunkle Stan so you two can _apologize_ for what you did!"

Dipper sighed miserably and sat down on a rock that was near the shore of the water. Leo crossed his arms, ignoring the urge to go comfort him in favor of being angry and disappointed instead. He could hear Soos take pictures and act like a fashion photographer towards a beaver, but he ignored that too.

"What are we gonna say to him, Leo? We ditched him over nothing." He threw a stone into the lake and sighed again. Before Leo could retort, the ground shook slightly. "Hey… guys, do you feel that?"

The rock that Dipper was sitting on sunk and Dipper swam back to the shore, grabbing onto Leo's outstretched hand and pulled himself up. "Hey, hey, whoa, whoa!" Mabel yelped as a tail suddenly lifted about water and almost smacked her in the face. Leo felt his stomach drop.

In the distance, they could all see another silhouette swimming away.

"This is it!" Dipper took a picture of it. "C'mon, this is our chance!" He turned to them with an excited smile.

Leo's mouth felt like cotton as he stared up at the creature that was slowly approaching. He felt Soos' hand on his shoulder as they backed up slowly. Dipper looked at the quizzically.

"What's wrong with you guys?"

"Dipper…?"

"Dude...?"

"Bro…?"

They said at the same time, fear etched into their voices.

"It's not that hard, alright? All you gotta do is point, and shoot. Like this!" He turned around and aimed at the monster, only to realize that it was in front of him.

The Gobblewonker roared, causing Dipper to drop his camera with a yelp before they all ran away.

"Run!"

The monster knocked over a tree and Leo's eyes widened.

"Dipper! The tree!"

Dipper looked up and gasped before tackling Mabel out of the way. They rolled onto their feet again and ran, catching up to their brother. Leo gave a quick look, before grabbing the twins and running even faster, all three of them dodging trees as they fell. Eventually, they managed to catch up to Soos.

"Get back to the boat! Hurry!"

Not needing to be told twice, Leo pushed himself to run faster. He dodged another a tree and heard Mabel yell. He turned to her and noticed that she had jumped onto Soos' back. He looked behind him and groaned as he saw that Dipper had fallen behind slightly to take a picture of the monster.

Dipper tripped and dropped the camera.

"The picture!"

Before he could go back for it, Leo grabbed his arm and picked him up before returning to his previous breakneck speed.

"Are you stupid?! Why would you go back for it!" He jumped over a fallen branch and caught up to Soos.

"Dude, if it makes you feel any better, I got tons of pictures of those beavers, dude!"

"Why would that make me feel better?!" Dipper screamed at Soos.

"Don't yell at him! He's not the one who tried to go back for a camera!" Leo yelled back, keeping a tight grip on Dipper.

They finally reached the boat and Leo threw Dipper in, ignoring the sharp cry of 'Hey1 Watch it!' from him. He jumped the edge as well, grabbing onto Mabel as Soos helped her up.

"Let's get out of here, dudes!" Soos yelled, going into the helm starting the boat and driving it away from the island.

Alright! This is it!" He tried to take a picture of the Gobblewonker. " _Cracked lens_?! Soos! Get a photo!"

He turned to Soos, who was throwing cameras at the monster. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Oh! I still got one left! Don't worry, dude!" He threw the camera at Dipper but missed and it ended up breaking against the wall.

Dipper made a frustrated noise and Leo glared at him.

"Is the photo really the most important thing right now?! Need I remind you that there is a _monster trying to kill us_!" He screamed as the Gobblewonker dove into the water and started to chase them.

"Go, go, go, go, go!"

Soos grabbed the steering wheel and turned them so the boat was facing the proper way and sped it up, the Gobblewonker on their tail. The boat made it back to the town, but they drove past it, soaking a few people on the way. The made a circle and ended back at the island.

"Soos! Beavers!" Dipper yelled, pointing to the beavers they saw earlier on the wrecked boat.

Soos tried to steer away from them but ended up crashing into the other boat and sending the beavers flying. Leo screamed as a beaver started biting his leg, one on his arm and another latched itself on his shoulder. He distantly heard Soos yell 'Dude!' before the boat started moving randomly. He managed to get rid of the beaver on his arm and threw it overboard before grabbing the beavers on his shoulder and leg and doing the same thing.

He turned to see Mabel on the wheel and paled considerably. She managed to steer them back into he town and they zig-zagged their way across the fishers. Leo felt slightly guilty over drenching so many people, but that was quickly squashed when he remembered that they were being chased by a monster. Some wet clothes were nothing compared to this. He gave a yelp as the Gobblewonker swiped at the boat and tore off the control cabin off.

"Aah! Look out!" Mabel yelled. Two men were transporting- was that glass? Why were they doing that on the water? Leo internally questioned.

They ran right though the glass, breaking it into pieces.

"Where do I go?!" She yelled. Dipper panicked and took out his book, quickly flipping through it.

"Go into the falls! I think there might be a cave behind there!" He pointed towards the waterfall.

"MIGHT BE?!" Both Mabel and Leo yelled. Nonetheless, Mabel steered the boat into the waterfall. Leo closed his eyes and held his breath, waiting for the impact, but it never came. He yelped as his body was lurched forwards and he fell out of the boat and onto the sand. He looked around to find himself in a cave and short burst of relieved laughter escaped him. He and the others gave sighs of relief, only for them to turning to another scream as the monster followed them inside. Leo grabbed on to the twins, holding them close to him. He felt them grip back and Soos wrap his arms around all three of them, all still screaming. When the pain never came, they opened their eyes to fins the monster roaring, stuck in the cave entrance.

"It's stuck!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Ha ha! Yeah!" Dipper cheered before realization dawned on him. "Wait… it's stuck?"

He started patting down his vest to try and find a camera, growing panicked when he couldn't feel one. Leo shook his head and yanked off Dipper's hat.

"Dork." He smirked when Dipper shot him a bashful look and laughed. He leaned against the wall and looked on as Dipper started taking multiple shots of the Gobblewonker. He gasped when the monster snapped its mouth towards them, but laughed it off and took more pictures, dancing gleefully.

"Didja get a good one?" Mabel bounded over, excitement all over her face.

"They're all good ones!" He threw his arms over his sister, a delighted laugh coming from both.

"Hamster ball!"

"Dude…" Soos said, looking at Leo with a hopeful expression. Leo chuckled and opened his arms.

"C'mere, big guy." Soos laughed and wrapped his arms around Leo in a bear hug. The twins' excitement was proving to be contagious.

The moment was ruined when a rock fell and hit the Gobblewonker on the head. It started sparking and made a noise akin to a PlayStation system shutting down.

"What the…?" Dipper trailed off. He jumped off the ledge and went down to the monster. "Huh?"

"Be careful, you idiot!" Leo yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth. Dipper banged on the side of it.

"What's wrong?" Mabel asked. Dipper examined it before jumping up and started climbing.

"Careful, dude!" Soos called out.

"I've got this! Hold on!" He climbed over the Gobblewonker and, after a few moments, pops up from the other side. "Hey, guys! Come check this out!"

Leo grabbed onto the edge of the ledge and used it to propel himself forward and jumped off. He turned and caught Mabel, who jumped directly into his arms, Soos sliding down after them. They all quickly climbed over to the other side to where Dipper was. They found him sitting near a circular handle.

"What the…?" Leo breathed out. The siblings looked at each other before Leo leaned over and turned the handle, jumping back in surprise when smoke came out. Dipper grabbed the door and flipped it open, all of them coughing when more smoke poured out of the opening.

Once the smoke cleared, they looked inside to find Old Man McGucket inside fiddling with a bunch of mechanics.

"Work the bellows and the… eh? Aww, banjo polish!" He exclaimed when he finally noticed them.

"Wha- Yo- You?! You made this? W-w-why?" Dipper gestured with his arms, looking disappointed. McGucket shifted nervously.

"Well, I… I, uh… I just wanted attention." He played with his fingers and looked down like a scolded child. Leo felt irritation trickle back in.

"You mean to tell me you almost _killed us_ for _attention_?" He hissed. McGucket whimpered.

"I still don't understand." Dipper placed his hand on his forehead. The old man brightened up.

"Well," He started. "First, I hootenannied up a biochemical brain wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with ma beard!" Leo rubbed his temples. So, not only were the dealing with mad man, they were dealing a mad _genius_.

Great.

"Okay, yeah. But _why_ did you do it?" Mabel asked. McGucket took off his hat and rubbed his head.

"Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore." He held his hat with both hands. "My own son hasn't visited me in months! So, I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen-ton aquatic robut!" _That's excessive_ , Leo thought again for the third time that day. McGucket laughed maniacally and put on his hat before sighing. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family."

Leo couldn't help but smirk as the twins took out their hats and sighed, giving each other guilty looks. Serves them right, damn it!

"Dude. I guess the real lake monster is you guys!" Soos chuckled, causing the twins to look at him. He then gave them an apologetic look. "Sorry, that just like- boom- just popped into my head there."

Leo shook his head. "Nuh-uh, Soos. Nope." He crossed his arms. "I was more than happy staying with Stan, don't push that onto _me_. Besides," He game him a pointed look. " _You_ were the one that encouraged this." Soos suddenly looked panicked.

"Dude, you're right! I'm sorry!"

"So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?" Mabel asked in a small voice.

"No, sir, I got to work straight on the robut!" Suddenly, a projector image popped up showing blueprints for the Gobblewonker on the trapdoor. "I made lots of robuts in my day!" He pushed a button and the image switched to a newspaper article with a robot pterodactyl breathing fire on a town and the word 'chaos' on the bottom. "Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron!" He pushed the button again and a picture of a man showed up.

"Or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party," He pushed the button again, this time another newspaper article showed up of a robot terrorizing a town and the word 'disaster' on the bottom. "And I constructed an eighty-ton _SHAME BOT_ THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA!" He started to laugh like a maniac and Leo grabbed the twins, pulling them away from him. Suddenly, he stopped.

"Well, time to work on my death ray!" He ducked back inside the Gobblewonker before reaching out and doing a grabbing motion. "Any of you kids got a screwdriver?"

 _A real-life mad scientist and I don't know whether I'm terrified or intrigued._ Leo thought, eyeing the mechanical beast.

Dipper sighed. "Well, so much for the photo contest."

"You still have one more roll of film left." Mabel pointed out. He looked at her.

"Whaddaya wanna do with it?" Leo grinned and ruffled both of their heads.

"I think I know what we should do."

* * *

"Hey! Over here!" They pulled next to Stan, who was heading to the docks. Dipper snapped a picture as they pulled up. He looked at them in surprise.

"What the- kids? I thought you guys were off playing "Spin the Bottle" with Soos!" Leo made a face.

"C'mon, Grunkle Stan, that's gross. Anyway, the twins have something they wanna tell you." He pushed them forward slightly. Dipper gave him a sheepish smile.

"Well, we spent all day trying to find a legendary dinosaur."

"But we realized that the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here." Mabel finished, holding up her index finger matter-of-factly. Stan scoffed.

"I'm sure Leo just convinced you guys to come back. Besides, I don't need your sympathy! I've been having a great time without'cha!" He started counting off his fingers. "Makin' friends, talking to my reflection- I had a run in with the lake police! Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun."

He gestured towards the tracker on his foot.

"So," Dipper started. "I guess there isn't room in that boat for four more?" He asked innocently. San glared at them and they smiled, putting on their hats. His expression softened.

"You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?" Dipper grinned.

"Five bucks says you can't do it!"

"You're on!"

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, _plus_ me singing at the top of my lungs!" Mabel challenged. Stan smirked.

"I like those odds!" He looked over at Leo who jumped into the boat and laughed. "Wanna wager anything?" He wiggled his eyebrows and Leo put his hand under his chin in thought.

"10 bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, Mabel singing at the top of her lungs, _and_ me doing what ever I can to distract you."

"Heh, heh! Bring it!" He looked at Soos and frowned.

"Whoa! What happened to your shirt?"

"Long story dude." Dipper held up his camera.

"Alright, everybody get together." After some shuffling around in the small boat, they all managed to get into a proper position to take a group photo. Leo was next to Stan, smiling as his arms wrapped around Mabel, who jumped into his lap and was sitting on the leg that was between him and Stan. Dipper held the camera so it was facing them.

"Say fishing!"

"Fishing!"

"Dude, am I in the frame?" Soos asked, stepping into the picture.

"Alright, time to prove you suckers wrong!" As soon as Stan grabbed the hook and closed his eyes, Mabel started singing loudly and Leo jumped on his back and started to wrestle him down onto the boat. He tried to open his eye, but Mabel quickly slapped her hands over them.

"Cheater!"

"Get 'im, Leo!" Dipper yelled, holding up his camera and snapping a picture.

* * *

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?" Stan asked, reading from the joke book.

"Because it was two-tired!"

"Because it was- dang it Leo!"

Stan glared at Leo, who innocently smiled back. Soos and Mable laughed while Dipper groaned, an annoyed look on his face. He still took a picture.

* * *

"Go, go, go, go!" Mabel chanted while Soos tried to help Dipper reel in a fish. As soon as the fish popped out of water, everyone cheered and he held up the fish proudly. Leo snapped a picture of him, Mabel's face popping up in the frame last minute.

"Ha ha! Yep, still got it." Stan boasted. Leo snorted and waved the camera.

"How about a victory pose, old man?"

Stan smiled and put his foot up on the cooler, his hand over his heart, but with his fingers inside the jacket and the other hand was on his hip. Leo took his picture.

* * *

"Hey, hey! Get back here! Stop that!" And old man yelled at them.

After Dipper's first fish, it seemed that no more were willing to bite, so they opted for stealing other people's fish. Currently, they were stealing from Smabel and her grandfather. Stan was holding up Mabel and she had cut their net when they were finally noticed. Dipper quickly snapped a picture before they drove the boat away.

They heard sirens and looked back to see the lake police.

"Oh, crap!" Leo yelled.

"Hold on, kids, we ain't goin' back to the county jail so quickly!" Stan announced before the boat went faster and they gave the lake police a chase. Dipper's hat almost flew away, but he managed to catch it in time.

"My hat!"

Soos snapped a picture.

After half an hour, the lake police finally seemed to get bored of them and simply left them alone. They all laughed and relaxed as Stan slowed the boat down and headed to shore. Leo was leaning against Soos, his hat covering his eyes, and his arm loosely wrapped around Dipper's as he leaned against him with his arms behind his back. Mabel sat next to him, enjoying how the wind made her sweater sleeves flap around.

Their relaxed smiles dropped when they felt a bump against the boat.

"Whoa!"

"What was that?" Dipper asked. Mabel shrugged and made the ' _I dunno_ ' sound. Leo just ignored it and closed his eyes. That was enough adventure for one day.

* * *

 _BONUS_ :

Mabel had somehow secured another pelican and was currently torturing her twin brother with jokes.

" _Who wants to hear a joke_?"

"Not me." Dipper rolled his eyes.

" _Heh, heh_! _Yeah, you do_! _Here it goes: why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant_?"

"I don't care!"

"' _Cuz he had a very big bill_! _La la la la_! _Yuk yuk yuk_! _Blah blah bloo_! _Yay_! _Hurray_!"

As she did the random noises, Dipper, at the same time groaned. "Ugh, boo. Bad joke. Bad pelican joke."

"I'm so proud of you!"

"Leo!"

* * *

 **Finally, that's done. Leo has a potty mouth, who knew?**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you in the next one.**


	3. Nyarf Wars

**So, this is a non-canon "episode", I guess you can call it. It'll follow mostly Leo, with it switching to Wendy after a while.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Leo hid behind a tree, breathing heavily and holding his weapon against his chest. He looked back at the entrance of the shack, finding no one, and slowly started to walk towards it, looking around to see any sign of them. He heard a ruffle and ducked behind a trash can, readying his weapon.

"AH!"

Leo turned and pulled the trigger. Mabel blinked in shock before pouting.

"No fair!" She reached up and yanked the dart from her forehead.

"All is fair in Nyarf and war, dear sister mine." Leo smiled smugly and ruffled her hair before taking the dart back and putting it in the revolver. "Now where's the other one?"

Mabel grinned and stuck her tongue out. "Not _telling_!" She sang.

Leo raised his eyebrows and took her darts. "I'll be confiscating these, then."

"What? Boo!"

"War compensation." Mabel pointed at the sky.

"I shall never betray my brother!" Leo put his hand over his heart.

"I _am_ your brother!"

"My womb-mate!" She repeated the gesture of pointing.

"Oh, my God." Leo shook his head, before jumping back as a dart suddenly appeared on the shack's wall.

He turned his head to see a pale Dipper lowering his gun before he ran away. Leo went to run after him, but Mabel leaped and jumped onto his lower back.

"Distraction powers: GO!" Leo tried to shrug her off but she managed to climb her way up his back and gripped at his neck. Leo ran anyway, with Mabel hanging on by her arms and her feet dangling at his sides.

He spotted Dipper running towards the base and tried to shoot at him, only for Mabel to scream loudly in his ear, causing him to flinch and miss his shot.

"Mabel!"

"No mercy!"

"I'll be your test subject for Mabel juice!" Mabel hummed.

"And…?"

"I'll give you 10 bucks!" Leo stopped.

"Deal!" She jumped off his back. "Get 'im, Leo!"

Leo took off running, finding Dipper about to reach the shack door. He shot a dart at the door and Dipper jumped back, looking up at him with wide eyes. Leo caught up and readied his Nyarf gun.

"End of the line, Mason." Leo slowly walked towards Dipper, causing him to walk back until they were circling the old tree stump. Dipper held up his gun as well.

"Yeah? Well, I don't _think_ so, DiCaprio!"

They stopped circling around the stump. Both of their eyes flickered over to the door before going back to each other. A moment passed before they both took off running towards the shack. As they ran, Leo aimed his Nyarf gun at Dipper, shooting at him, causing him to yelp and try to shoot back. Once they made it to the shack's door, Leo threw it open, causing Wendy and Soos to jump in surprise.

"Uh, dudes, what're yo-?"

"NO MERCY!" Dipper yelled, his gun in the air.

He got on top of the counter and started shooting at Leo, who ducked behind a shirt rack. He climbed inside and took some darts that were left on the floor, placing them back into the revolver of his gun. He climbed out and shot at Dipper, who ducked out of the way, and he accidentally hit Wendy's magazine instead.

"Sorry, Wendy!"

"It's cool."

He went back inside the clothing rack and looked for Dipper. He spotted him grabbing discarded darts and jumped out, starting to shoot at him. Dipper yelped and stumbled back before aiming at Leo, who dodged the darts. Dipper tried to shoot again, only for the gun to make the clicking sound. Leo smirked victoriously.

"Any last words?" He held up his gun, aiming for his chest. Dipper sighed and moved to a kneeling position. He held his arms out and closed his eyes.

"Tell Stan that I won't make it for dinner." Leo laughed and went to pull the trigger, only to feel something poke him on the back. He turned to see Mabel with her Nyarf bow and a grin.

"NO MERCY!"

"Mabel!" Dipper cried happily, only for an arrow dart to be shot as his chest.

"Boom, betrayal! I win!" Leo sighed and crossed his arms, pouting.

"Aw, what?" Dipper complained as he stood up and glared at her. "We were supposed to be a team!"

"Sorry bro-bro," Mabel smirked and swung her bow around. But no mercy means no mercy!"

She hit her head with the bow and yelped, causing her brothers to laugh.

"Not that this isn't totally hilarious," They turned to see Wendy giving them an amused smile. "What's all this about?" Mabel flounced up to the counter and jumped on it, giving Wendy a large grin.

"It's Nyarf Wars! Wanna play?" Wendy raised her eyebrows and the amused smile grew.

"' _Nyarf Wars_?"

"It's kind of like Call of Duty in real life." Leo explained, placing the gun on his shoulders. "But instead of real guns and stuff, we use Nyarf guns. Or any product really. Rule is that once you get hit, you can't join the game with the weapon that you got hit with. So, if you get shot and your weapon was a gun…" He gestured over to Mabel who held up her bow proudly.

"You have to find a different weapon to join in, no repeating weapons. Last one standing wins."

Wendy nodded. "Sounds cool."

"Yeah," Dipper said, picking up his darts. "Wanna play?" Wendy hummed and pretended to think.

"I don't know guys. I mean, I'm working, and I shouldn't be slacking off." They all looked at each other before they burst into laughter. "I'm in!"

"Great, what about you, big guy?" Leo gave Soos a smile and held the gun up temptingly.

"Oh, uh, I dunno, dude. Mr. Pines gave me a list of things I need to do and…" He trailed off worriedly. Leo lowered his gun and pat Soos back.

"It's cool. Can you at least keep a look out for Mabel?" Leo gave said girl a glare, to which she responded with an innocent giggle and a twirl. "She's a cheater."

Soos laughed. "No problem, dude." Dipper, after finishing resetting his gun, clapped loudly.

"Alright! Now that we actually have an even number of people, let's do teams!" Leo scoffed.

"Please, like there being an odd amount of people ever stopped you two from ganging up on me."

"Guess that means we gotta get revenge. Don't worry, I'll help you." Wendy smirked at Leo, who grinned back, and punched her fist to her hand. Mabel gasped happily.

"Yes! Twins vs Teens!"

"Well, then, that settles it!" Dipper announced, holding up his Nyarf gun. "Victory or death!"

"Victory or death!" Mabel and Leo yelled before they went their separate ways. Leo grabbed Wendy's arm and pulled her upstairs.

"Whoa, where we going?"

"My room." He said, nonchalantly. "We need to get you a weapon." Wendy smirked.

"Sure you're just not trying to get a pretty girl alone in your room?" Leo completely stopped, a blush fighting its way up his neck and onto his cheeks. He quickly let go of her and started waving his hands frantically.

"N-no! No! That's, that's not at all what I'm-" Wendy laughed and punched his arm playfully.

"Dude, chill. I was joking." Leo nodded, his face still red as they reached his room. Opening the door, he quickly went over to the nightstand, opening the lower drawer.

Wendy walked in and sat on his bed, looking around. The room was in what she could only describe as organized chaos. From first look, it was messy, but she could tell that many things that were similar were grouped together, not neatly, but they were together. There were a few shoes littered around, and his jacket was currently next to her on the bed. She noticed that a baseball bat was leaning against the foot of the bed, which seemed too small for the tall teen. Other than that, not a lot of his personality shown through the room, it was all bare minimum. No posters, no books or CDs, even his luggage still had clothes and was haphazardly thrown in the corner of the room, still open from him getting clothes this morning.

"I have a sniper, and a regular revolver." Leo stood up and held the two out for her. "Choose your weapon."

Wendy smiled and took the revolver. "Let's go hunt some twins."

Leo smirked at her and got on one knee in front of her. He gave her a small pouch of darts. "Your bullets, milady." Wendy laughed and took them.

"You're a dork." She teased. Leo blushed again and rubbed the back of his neck, laughing nervously.

"Heh, sorry…"

"Nah," She grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "I like it."

She winked and walked out of the room. Leo stared after her for a moment, before smiling and following her.

* * *

"See anything?"

"Not yet, I'll tell you when I do."

It had been twenty minutes since the game begun, and Leo and Wendy had almost been caught by the twins.

"Never thought that those two would be so good at this." Wendy muttered, looking around the tree that she was currently hiding behind to try and find the little devils.

"Yeah, you should see them back home." Leo was on top of the roof of the golf cart they took. He climbed onto a low hanging branch and nestled himself in the tree, his rifle ready to fire a t anything that moves. "We line in an apartment complex and they'll jump into other people's terrace to get away from me and Maya." Wendy frowned in confusion.

"Maya?"

Before he could answer, a dart embedded itself onto the golf cart's seat and they both quickly looked around to see the twins running from opposite directions. He pointed his rifle at Mabel, who was running towards him, and shot at her, only for her to start zig-zagging. She hid behind a bush and pointed her arrows at his tree and shot. It landed near his foot before falling off and he decided to climb further.

"I'm out of ammo!" Wendy yelled, jumping on the cart and climbing the tree that Leo was on. Once she found her way up to where he was, another arrow was shot. Wendy managed to dodge it and it landed on the ground behind them.

"What do we do, captain?" Leo started.

"Since when am _I_ the captain here?"

"Since this is my first time playing this!" Leo blinked and nodded slowly.

"That's fair." He said slowly, before flinching as a dart was shot passed him. Damn, was he lucky Dipper was a terrible shot. "We need to separate them. Mabel's a better shot so we can't get too close. Dipper's worst, but he's strategic, so confronting him won't be good either." Leo hummed.

"You said you were out of ammo, right?" Wendy nodded. "Okay, so first thing's first, we need to get them back. I'm going to distract the twins, you get as many darts as you can and find a safe place to reload."

"Aye, aye captain!" She saluted and slowly climbed down the tree as Leo fired two shots near the twins, causing them to pay attention to the tree that held him.

Wendy managed to sneak back to the ground undetected and peeked out. Dipper was on top of a tree stump, firing darts at the tree, some of which were _way_ off, and Mabel was loading up another arrow. She ran out and grabbed as many darts as she could before hiding behind another tree. Looking around again, she noticed that Dipper was now looking in her general direction, and he seemed to be thinking deeply.

She paled as he started walking towards her tree, his gun held up. She quickly started reloading as many darts as she could, before looking around to find another hiding spot.

"Aw, what? No fair!" She peeked out again to find Dipper with a dart on his hat. He pouted before putting his gun down and walking away with a huff.

When he left, Wendy took his gun and ran to a different tree. She heard a loud grunt and turned again to see Leo on the ground with an arrow on his forehead. She gaped and ran to him.

"Dude, you okay?" He chuckled.

"Yeah, told you she had good aim." He sat up and popped the arrow off his forehead. "You might wanna run now, Mabel will be here to reload her arrows soon." Wendy nodded and went further into the woods.

She held up her Nyarf gun, the one Leo gave her and aimed it at everything as she walked. She heard a rustle in the leaves and turned around. She could have sworn she'd seen a little red gnome hat but dismissed it as her imagination.

"Well, well, well." She turned to find Mabel, with her bow pointed at Wendy. "Look who I found."

"C'mon, Mabel, do you really wanna shootout? Here? With _me_?" Wendy held up her gun, feeling comfortable knowing that she also had Dipper's hooked onto her belt loops if she needed it. And they were both fully loaded. Mabel didn't stand a chance.

"Yup, and how about a bet?" Wendy raised her eyebrows.

"What bet?"

"If I win, you have to tell me how you feel about my brother!" Mabel yelled, pointing her finger at Wendy. Wendy frowned in confusion.

"That's it? I can literally just do that right now." Mabel shook her head.

"No, I need something to bet on!"

"Alright, then, what if I win?" Mabel smiled smugly.

" _Oh_ , you won't." Wendy raised her eyebrows.

"And how are you so sure?"

"Because," Wendy flinched slightly in surprise and turned around, only for a dart to hit her chest. She looked at Dipper, who smiled proudly at hitting his mark. He had a sniper rifle, she vaguely recognized it as Leo's, in his hand. "You've already lost."

He ran over to Mabel, who gave him a high five. Wendy stood dumbfounded as the youngest Pines celebrated. She then laughed and held her stomach.

"You guys are good at this!" The twins bowed in sync.

"Thank you."

Wendy took off the dart and threw it at Dipper's head. He yelped and she and Mabel laughed at his expense. Dipper grumbled and walked towards the shack. Mabel bounced over to Wendy, an innocent smile on her face.

"Soooo…?" She sang.

"So, what?"

"You lost! How do you feel about my bro-bro?" Wendy laughed.

"He's nice. Bit of a dork, but he's funny." Mabel deflated.

"You don't think he's charming? Or _cute_? Or anything?" Wendy shook her head.

"I mean, he's not horrible to look at." She thought for a moment. "He's kind of… I don't know, pretty? Yeah, pretty."

Mabel stared at her before shaking her head. "I have a lot of work to do…" She muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

* * *

"Well, this has been fun," Wendy stretched. "But I have to get home." Leo nodded.

"Glad you enjoyed it. You're welcome to join in whenever we do this."

"I'll keep that in mind… as well as this." She turned and nailed both Dipper and Mabel in their arms with the gun she grabbed from Dipper.

"What? Why!"

"No fair!" Wendy smirked and shrugged.

"We never really finished the game, you two just got ahead of yourselves." She gave the Nyarf gun to Leo and winked.

"Told you I'd help you get revenge." Leo stared at her in shock. A burst of laughter escaped him and he brought her into a hug.

"You're the best!" She blinked before returning the hug with a smile.

"I know." He separated from her and held her at arm's length with a smirk.

"But still not on my level. Don't worry, you'll get there eventually." She scoffed and punched his chest, causing him to wince slightly.

"Shut up, dork. Anyway, I actually gotta go. Bye guys!"

A chorus of "Bye Wendy"s followed her out the door before Mabel squealed happily.

"Why is she screaming?" Dipper asked, giving Mabel a stare. Leo shook his head.

"I honestly don't know. Let's go before the crazy rubs off on us." He walked upstairs, Dipper following silently as they left a fangirling Mabel in the shack.

* * *

 **So, Mabel ships it, lol. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, shorter than the other ones, I know, but, hey, I tried XD**

 **Please leave a comment and I will see you in the next chapter.**


	4. Headhunters

**Sorry for the wait, this chapter just didn't want to get written.**

* * *

" _I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident._ "

"( _An accident, constable? Or is it… Murder?!_ )"

" _What?_ "

Leo rolled his eyes as the show cut to a commercial. He reached for the popcorn on Dipper's lap, only for it to be slapped away. He was laying on the sofa chair upside down, with Mabel and Dipper sitting on the floor in front of him and Dipper hogging the popcorn.

"That duck is a genius!" Mabel said in awe, putting her face between her hands.

"Eh," Dipper shrugged. "It's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground."

"Something you are very well aware of, little brother." Leo interjected, sneaking some popcorn into his mouth while Dipper was distracted. He glared at him.

"Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?" Mabel scoffed, putting her hands on her hips and squinting at him. Dipper grinned at her.

"Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation." Leo rolled his eyes.

"Sure, Jan." Dipper gave him a look.

"Shut up, Leo. Anyway, Mabel, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating…" He sniffed and gave her a confused and worried look. "An entire tube of toothpaste?" He raised his eyebrow at her.

"Mabel, I swear, what have I told you about eating toothpaste?" Leo chided.

"It was so sparkly…" She said guiltily. Suddenly, Soos slid in front of the doorway with a broom clutched in his hand.

"Hey, dudes, you'll never guess what I found!" He panted out.

"Buried treasure!" Dipper yelled, throwing his hands up.

"Buried-!" Mabel laughed and pushed Dipper playfully. "Hey, I was gonna say that!" Leo rolled on the sofa chair until he was sitting right-side up again.

"So, what did you find, big guy?" Soos grinned and gestured for them to follow him. The siblings looked at each other, before getting up and following Soos up the stairs.

"So," Soos started, clutching the broom to his chest as he led them down a darkened hallway. "I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper." He turned to them and leaned slightly into Dipper's face.

"It's crazy bonkers creepy!"

Thinking back to the gnomes that tried to force his sister to marry them and the crazy, old hillbilly who created multiple homicidal robots. Leo winced.

"I doubt it's _that_ creepy."

Soos shook his head and slowly opened the door, knocking down some cobwebs. Leo paled and shuddered.

"I stand corrected."

Inside were dozens of dusty wax figures, all staring unblinkingly in every direction. They all entered the room, Dipper taking out a flashlight from his jacket (how many things does he have in there?) and pointed it around.

"Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!" He said in awe. Leo turned around and flinched when he came face to face with a wax Queen Elizabeth II. He blinked and slowly backed away from it.

"You're, uh, you're majesty." He nodded and quickly walked back to Soos' side, staring suspiciously at the wax figures.

"They're so lifelike." Mabel ran her fingers down a wax Sherlock Holmes' arm. Dipper scoffed and pointed his flashlight at… Stan?

"Hello." The twins screamed. The figure chucked. "It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!"

The twins screamed again, this time joined by Leo and Soos. Mabel clung onto Leo's stomach as he backed himself into Soos' side, who wrapped him up in his arms as well. Leo had grabbed Dipper's arm and yanked him close to the group.

"It's hideous!" He yelled before they all ran to the other side of the room. Stan rolled his eyes and stepped further into the room.

"Watch your mouth, kid, I handle your paycheck."

"Grunkle Stan, what is this place?" Dipper asked before Leo could sass Stan.

"Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum!" Stan held his hands up and gestured around the room. "One of our most popular attractions!"

"Then why are they all crammed into this room?" Leo asked crossing his arms and observing Edgar Allen Poe. Feeling like Poe was watching him back, he shivered and moved away.

"Eh, I forgot all about it."

"Typical." Stan glared at him.

"Anyways, I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes," He walked in front of each statue as he named them before stopping on Larry King. "Some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"

Leo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "It's Larry King. Have you gone senile, old man?"

"Eh, probably."

Dipper shuddered.

"Is anyone else getting the creeps here?" He wrapped his arms around himself, looking at all the wax figures suspiciously.

"I am." Leo wrapped his arm around Dipper and held him close to his side.

"Yeah, yeah, enough about that. Now it's time for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln!" He gestured towards an empty space by an open window. Looking down, Leo saw that all that remained of it was a puddle of melted wax. "Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open?" He pointed over at another wax figure and growled.

"Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!" He sighed and leaned down, poking the wax. "How do you fix a wax figure?"

"I'm guessing it's by rebuilding it." Leo answered. Mabel walked up to Stan with a smile.

"Cheer up, Grunkle Stan." She chirped and hugged his arm. "Where's that smile?"

"Egh."

"Beep, bop, boop!" She cheerfully started poking at Stan's face.

"Ow." He stood up.

"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan, I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!"

"You really think you can make one of these puppies?" He gestured over to the intact wax figures.

Mabel put her hands behind her back and closed her eyes. "Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master." She opened her eyes and smiled. "Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?"

She held her arm out, which had a glue gun stuck to it, and started trying to shake it off, but to no avail. "Eugh, eugh!"

Leo went over to her and started trying to pry the glue gun from her arm. "I swear, Mabel…"

"I like your gumption, kid!" Stan exclaimed.

"I don't know what that word means but thank you!" Leo finally managed to yank off the glue gun from her arm, her sweater coming out mostly unscathed.

"There you go, sis."

* * *

Leo was calmly scrolling through his phone, messages from his friends back in Piedmont popping up. Apparently, Ronnie had accidently broke several plates at the restaurant they went to and was put in a time out corner.

He looked up from his phone to see Mabel wearing a beret and scribbling something furiously on a small notepad and mumbling to herself. Part of him wanted to check on her, but the other part knew that he'd get roped into some elaborate plan that he didn't fully follow and would make him get dizzy and he wasn't feeling up to dealing with a headache. That was the that part won.

He looked back down at his phone, Theo sent a picture of his Uno cards at him with the caption " _Wtf is this shit_?". He had all greens and reds, none of which were +2, skips, or reverse cards. Poor Theo.

"Dipper!" Leo flinched at Mabel's loud voice and looked up to see Dipper choking on his soda. "What do you think of my was figure idea?

She held up the notepad. He held back a sigh when he saw that it was a blonde woman with a horse's body. "She's part fairy princess, and part _horse_ fairy princess!" She turned to Leo. "You too, Lee-Lee! What do you think?"

"It's… colorful?" Leo smiled nervously. Mabel grinned proudly.

"M-Maybe you should carve something from real life." Dipper suggested. Mabel quickly flipped to a blank page.

"Like a waffle, with big arms!"

"And where exactly have you seen a waffle with big arms?" Leo raised an eyebrow.

"You don't know my life!" Dipper rubbed his arm.

"Well, okay, but, maybe, something else?" He smiled nervously. "Like, a family member?"

Leo chuckled and nudged Dipper, who rubbed his arm and glared at him.

"Kids! Have you seen my pants?" Stan yelled, coming into the room in with the top part of his suit, but no pants. Leo cringed.

"Does this count as public indecency?" Mabel, however, had stars in her eyes as she saw her Grunkle pose on the briefcase. She turned and looked up.

"Oh, muse, you work in mysterious ways."

"Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?"

"Go find your pants, old man!"

* * *

After hours of Mabel working on the wax figure nonstop, she finally took a step back and admired her handiwork. Leo leaned against Soos, giving the statue an impressed look.

"Looks good, sis."

"Thank you, but I think," She started, "It needs more glitter."

"Agreed." Soos said, handing a bucket of glitter over to Mabel and nearly knocking Leo over in the process. Mabel tossed the entire bucket onto the wax figure and smiled proudly.

Just then, Stan walked in, finally wearing his entire suit, except his shoes. "I found my pants but now I'm missing my-Ahhh!" He screamed and fell over, scrambling away from the statue once he noticed it as if he'd seen a ghost. Mabel walked over and leaned over him with a large smile.

"What do you think?"

"I think…" Stan suddenly smiled and threw his arms up in the air. "The Wax Museum is back in business!"

 _The Next Day_

Leo was in shock of how many people showed up for this. Well, not that much of a shock, this town doesn't get very exciting unless there's some weird supernatural thing going down. And even then, he doesn't think many people even _know_ about all of that.

The outside of the Mystery Shack was filled with people, it seemed like the entire town was there. Soos was directing people to parking with corndogs, the twins and Stan were setting up the stage, and Leo was working the entrance stand with Wendy.

"Why are there so many people here? Do they have nothing else they'd rather do?" Leo muttered, taking the money from some blonde guy and putting it in the briefcase.

"I know, right?" Wendy laughed. Leo's face colored slightly, he didn't think she'd hear him. "Your uncle probably bribed them or something."

"How dare you, madame!" Leo exclaimed in an over dramatic voice. "I'll have you know, that that is a totally true statement and I was one of the people he bribed!"

Wendy scoffed and laughed, holding up a 10. "Same here."

Leo held up a 20. "Get on my level." They both laughed and pocketed their bribe money.

Stan tapping his mic and coughing brought their attention to the stage.

"You all know me, folks! Town darling, 'Mr. Mystery'."

"Bullshit." Leo coughed out, Wendy shooting him an amused look.

"Please, ladies control yourselves!" Leo had to hold back a laugh at the dull silence that followed his statement.

"As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the like of which the world has never known. But enough about me, behold: ME!"

He pulled back the blanket that covered Mabel's masterpiece, Soos playing sound effects on his keyboard.

" _Ye-ah_! _Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah_!"

A few members of the audience gave dull, pity claps.

"This is so awkward." Leo whispered to Wendy.

"I know. I wonder what made people come here in the first place, Mr. Potty Mouth."

"Wha-oh. Shut up." She chuckled.

"Thank you for coming!" Mabel's voice enthusiastic carried out through the speaker. "I made this statue with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!"

Leo cringed in disgust. _Dang it, Mabel_.

It seemed the crowd agreed with Leo's unspoken sentiment because they all gave various sounds of disgust. Mabel chuckled.

"Yeah. I will now take questions!" She pointed over to McGucket. "You there!"

"Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?"

Strangely, it didn't sound as crazy as it would have a few weeks ago before Leo came to Gravity Falls.

"Um… Yes! Next question!" She then pointed over to someone else.

"Toby Determined," He held out a turkey baster like it was a microphone. " _Gravity Falls Gossiper_. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?"

"Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby." Stan said gruffly.

"It certainly is-!"

"Next question!" Stan cut him off.

"Sandra Jimenez, a _real_ reporter." The curvy woman stood up and Leo winced.

"Ouch. Harsh, much?"

"But is she wrong?" Wendy gave him a pointed look. Leo thought about it, before scrunching up his nose.

"You right."

"Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event." Sandra held up the flyer. "Is this true?"

Murmurs of agreements started rising within the crowd and Leo and Wendy looked at each other startled as they started getting rowdy.

"That was a typo. Good night, everyone!"

Stan hurriedly shouted before throwing a smoke bomb and disappearing. He reappeared in front of the ticket booth and took the admission fees with him as he ran away. Leo winced as people started throwing chairs in anger and punching things. He saw Manly Dan punch one of the poles that held up the banner.

"In your _face_!"

He noticed Wendy wince slightly and raised his eyebrow. Mabel and Dipper walked up to them, Mabel smiling happily.

"I think that went well." She leaned on the table.

"Define ' _well_ ' please."

* * *

"Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! And I owe it all to one person," Mabel turned around and gave Stan a smile. "This guy!"

She punched his gut.

"Ooh!" He started noogying her. "Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up." He ushered the twins away. "We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow."

Leo snorted.

"You're such an old man." Stan glared at him and smacked the back of his head. Leo yelped.

"Shut up, wise-ass. Now you go upstairs too; you smell like puberty."

"Rude!"

* * *

Leo was pulled the blue T-Shirt over his head and ran his fingers through his wet hair, wincing whenever he found a knot. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and laid back on his bed, fully intending to spend the night on the internet instead of sleeping like a responsible human being.

"NO! NO! _NO_!"

Leo flinched in surprise and jumped out of his bed. He grabbed his bat and ran downstairs, following the twins as they ran out of the bathroom. They all hurried downstairs and into the living-room where Stan was staring at the ground in horror.

"What happened?!"

"Wax Stan," Stan cried out, shaking like a leaf. "He's been m-murdered!"

The clock then struck 3, the loud ominous sound ringing through the living room. Leo gawked and Mabel fainted into Dipper's arms.

After lots of crying and loud, barely censored swearing, Mabel began to regain consciousness and the police arrived ten minutes later. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland came in the room, Durland taking notes as Stan explained what happened.

"I got up to use the john, right? And when I came come back, BLAMMO! He's headless!"

"My expert handcrafting… besmirched." Mabel cried. " _Besmiiiirrrched_!"

Leo held her and patted her head as she cried into his chest.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, sweetie, it's okay." He rocked her slightly and Dipper walked over and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Who would do something like this?" Durland looked up from his notepad.

"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?" Blubs shrugged.

"Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts… this case is unsolvable." He sipped his coffee.

" _What_?!" The Pines yelled in unison.

"You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!" Stan yelled, getting in Blubs' face.

"You're kidding right?" Dipper asked. "There must be evidence, motives."

"Yeah, shouldn't you, I don't know, _look_ for something before you deem it unsolvable?" Leo seethed.

"We can help you if you want!"

"They're really good together!" Mabel interjected. She then smiled. "They figured out who was eating all our tin cans!"

"All signs pointed to the goat." Dipper said seriously, pointing at the two officers.

"Still think that Soos had something to do with it too, though." Leo shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah! Let the boys help. The small one has little brain up in his head."

"What about me?" Stan ignored him. Rude.

"Ooh! Would you look at what we got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone and his pretty boy brother!" Blubs chuckled and nudged his partner.

"City _booy_! Pretty _boooy_!" Durland hollered before they both laughed.

" _Pretty boy_?" Leo asked, raising his eyebrows incredulously.

"You two are adorable!"

"Adorable?" Dipper asked dejectedly. Leo crossed his arms.

"Let's see how _adorable_ I am when I shove my foot up your-!" Stan nudged him, cutting his sentence off. Thankfully, it seemed neither of the officers noticed Leo's threat as they were too busy laughing.

"Look, PJs, how 'bout you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?"

 _Don't assault the cops, don't assault the cops, don't assault the fucking cops Leonardo!_ Leo thought bitterly. It seemed like he wasn't the only one angry, though. Dipper had his fists clenched tightly as he glared at the two officers. Blubs and Durland shared a high-fived before Blubs' walkie-talkie went off.

" _Attention all units. Steve is about to fit entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe_!"

"It's a 23-16!" Durland shouted excitedly. _They seriously have a code for that?_ Leo thought, rolling his eyes.

The supposed " _grown-ups_ " ran off, giggling in a way that sounded more like hiccups than laughter.

"That's it! Mabel, Leo, we're going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head! Then we'll see who's _adorable_!" He growled out. Leo was all for the plan, until Dipper sneezed and he burst into laughter.

"Aww," Mabel cooed. "You sneezed like a kitten!"

He glared at her.

"You do! Do it again!"

"Leo!"

* * *

The living-room had been transformed into something straight out of a crime tv show, evidence board and all. Mabel was taking multiple pictures of Wax Stan from all angles, Leo was taking down 'notes' (really he was just doodling in the notepad) and Dipper was narrating out oud.

"Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it." Mabel switched positions again and took more pictures. "There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. The murderer could have been anyone."

Dipper squinted suspiciously at the bulletin board.

"Yeah! Even us!"

Finishing up his doodle, Leo looked up.

"I doubt it was us." He went back to his drawing, a pine tree with apples on it. He smirked to himself as he brought his pun to life. It was a pine-apple-tree. He was a genius.

"In this town, anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies," He flipped through the journal.

"Interdimensional demons." Leo interjected. Mabel punched his arm.

"Stop it with the demons!"

"We're going to meet a demon, I'm calling it!"

"It could be months before we find our first clue." Dipper continued, ignoring his siblings' antics.

"Hey, look!" Mabel pointed over to the rug. Above where Wax Stan's head should have been were footprints in the carpet, the left have a hole in it.

"Footprints in the shag carpet!" Dipper exclaimed.

"That's weird they have a whole in them."

"Poor shoes deserve a better owner."

"And they're leading to…" They followed the footprints to behind the sofa chair and gasped. They a shared worried looks before looking back down at the ax on the floor.

* * *

"Soos, my man, we gotta _axe_ you a question!" Leo chimed, throwing the door open and sashaying inside.

"Why are you like this?" He purposely ignored his younger brother and placed the ax in front of Soos, who picked it up and examined.

"Any thoughts on this, big guy?"

"In my opinion, this is an axe." Leo nodded.

"Just like we suspected."

"Wait a minute," Mabel interjected, her arms crossed. "The lumberjack!"

"Of course!" The twins yelled at the same time, turning towards each other.

"How dare you leave me out of your twin thing." Leo pouted. Mabel placed her hand on his arm.

"We'll include you next time." She assured. Dipper snapped his fingers.

"Guys, focus."

"Sorry."

"Anyway, he was _furious_ when he didn't get that pizza."

"Furious enough… for _murder_!"

"Oh, you mean Manly Dan." Soos commented.

"The one and only. Any idea where we can find him?" Leo asked, leaning against the counter.

"Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown."

"The _that's_ where we're going!" Mabel said, glaring off to the side.

"Dudes this is awesome." The siblings looked at Soos, who was smiling excitedly at them. "You guys are like, the Mystery Trio!"

"Don't call us that." Dipper deadpanned.

"Yeah, call us the Mystery Machines! Wait, no…"

"Leo!" Leo smirked.

The siblings all collectively thanked Soos and walked out of the shack. They passed by Stan, who was struggling to lift something out of the trunk of his car.

"Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy."

Leo went over to him and together they managed to pull the coffin out of the car. Stan wiped his head.

"Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we have a big break in the case!" Dipper said determinedly, holding up his fist.

"Break in this case!"

"And I've already helped take the coffin down, so that fills my community service to the elderly quota." Leo dodged Stan's hand as he reached out to smack him.

"We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer."

"We have an axe!" Mabel showed the ax in Dipper's bag. "REE, REE, REE!"

"And we know axe-actly who to go to!" Dipper glared at him. Stan hummed.

"Sounds like something that a responsible parent wouldn't allow. Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me, kids, AVENGE ME!" He put his foot up on the coffin and shook his fist at the sky. The siblings all looked at each other, before Leo quietly led them away from their crazy uncle.

* * *

Leo peaked out from behind the dumpster, doing his best to ignore the smell. Dipper and Mabel peaked out of heir respective hiding spots, Mabel opting to hide _inside_ the dumpster like the crazy person she is. Dipper made his way to the side of the dumpster and looked around the corner.

"Alright, this is the place." He gasped and quickly hid again. "Got the fake IDs?"

"We're gonna talk later about where you managed to find fake IDs." Leo said, taking an ID from Mabel, who smiled innocently. He noticed that his fake age was 31 and his picture had a fake handlebar mustache and a monocle. He groaned and resisted the urge to bang his head against the dumpster

"Also, I am not that much older than you two." Mabel shushed him.

"Just let it happen."

"Here goes nothing." Dipper sighed before all three rounded the corner and got in line behind a miner.

When the poor guy showed the bouncer, a large man with many tattoos on his body and some on his face that just named where it was located, he shook his head and gave him back the ID.

"Sorry, we don't serve miners."

"Daaaannnnng'nabit!" The miner did a weird little jig and spat on the ground, reminding Leo vaguely of Old Man McGucket. "Eughh!"

The siblings walked up to the bouncer- Matt? Was that his name? Leo didn't know anymore.

"We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Stan." Mabel said, and they all held out their IDs. "Deedle-deelde-de"

 _I swear Mabel._ Leo thought. The bouncer raised his eyebrow before shrugging.

"Works for me."

Leo did not expect that man's voice to be so deep, what the hell?

Dipper smiled nervously and led them inside the biker bar. Once inside, Leo felt the need to die and never come back. The entire place was darkened, the low lighting coming from neon signs (and the occasional lightbulb) and smelled like a male locker room (he'd know) and the patrons were already fighting as well as popping and throwing bottles everywhere. The music was surprisingly loud considering that you couldn't hear it from the outside.

Leo honestly didn't think that such a small town had a place like this.

The siblings walked further inside the bar, Mabel looking around in fascination while Dipper gave everything a suspicious look. Leo tried to act normal but would wince whenever he heard a bottle breaking over someone's head.

They walked over a man with flame printed boots that was passed out on the ground.

"He's resting." Mabel calmly stated with a smile.

"May he rest in peace then." Leo muttered. Dipper turned to them.

"Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?"

"You are literally twelve, _and_ shorter than, like, half of the tables here." Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Just try to blend in, please."

"You got it Dippingsauce." Mabel chirped before climbing into one of the chairs and chatting up a burly guy with a scar on his temple.

Seeing Mabel whip out her cootie catcher, Leo silently wished the poor man good luck and walked around. He saw a couple of men surrounding a pool table and silently stood to watch. One of them, a large man with graying hair and both his arms covered in tattoos looked at him and gave a loud whistle.

"Hey! Pretty boy! You play?" Leo stopped for moment and thought. He _was_ told to blend in…

Leo scowled at him.

"Better than your aging ass could." The man gave a loud bark of laughter.

"Put your money where your mouth is and get a stick."

Leo obediently grabbed a cue from a hanging rack and began chalking it. Once he was satisfied with it, he put the chalk back and walked back to the table, where the man was setting up the table to play.

"Stripes or solid?"

"Stripes."

"After you." Leo gave him an innocent smile.

"You're gonna regret that."

* * *

Leo smirked as the eight-ball rolled into the pocket. The man that challenged him gawked while the small crowd that had formed cheered and hollered at his victory.

"Well I'll be damned!" The guy shouted with laugh. "Pretty boy's more like a pretty MAN!"

He roughly smacked Leo's back and he tried not to wince. There will definitely be a bruise there later on.

"Uh, thank you?"

The bikers started chanting "Pretty man!" and Leo felt like he wanted to die.

Again.

"Leo!" Dipper made his way through the crowd of men and tugged at his arm. "C'mon, we gotta big break in the case! Again!"

"It wasn't Manly Dan?"

"Nope!" Leo turned to the bikers.

"Bye!"

A chorus of gruff voices yelled out "Bye" before another bottle was smashed and the fighting resumed. That was the last thing that Leo heard before the heavy doors closed behind him.

"Alright, what's the lead?"

"The axe is left handed!" He took out the list form his jacket and showed it to them. "These are all our suspects; Manly Dan is right handed. That means-"

"All we have to do is find who's left handed and we got ourselves a murderer!" Leo interrupted excitedly. Dipper smiled back with just as much enthusiasm.

"Oh, _man_ , we are on _fire_ today!" Mabel yelled before making laser noises.

"Let's find that murderer!"

The siblings shared fist bumps with each other.

They spent the rest of the day trying to find out who's left handed, and for the most part, everyone was cleared.

Leo and Mabel stared at Dipper as he crossed out the last person they did on their list. Dipper gasped.

"Guys, there's only one person left on this list!"

"Of course, it all adds up!"

Leo grinned and whipped out his phone.

* * *

"You kids better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it." Blubs said doubtfully, holding his flashlight up and standing next to the door of the Gravity Falls Gossiper. Deputy Durland held up the nightstick and stood at the other side.

"The evidence is irrefutable." Dipper said seriously.

"It's _so_ irrefutable!"

Leo was banned from talking when he almost cussed the officers out again, so he just crossed his arms.

"I'm gonna get to use my match stick!" Durland chirped excitedly. Leo gave him a weirded out look. Why would he be happy about that?

"You ready? You ready little fella?" They started poking each other with the sticks and making "woo" noises. Leo had officially lost hope for this town criminal justice system.

"On three!" Dipper said. "One, two…"

Deputy Durland kicked open the door with a loud battle cry and ran in, Sheriff Blubs following after him.

"Nobody move! This is a raid!"

It really wasn't, but okay, Leo thought, following the two officers inside.

Toby screamed and fell off the chair he was sitting on.

"What is this?" _Apparently, it was a raid_. "Some kind of raid?"

 _I swear_.

Durland smashed a lamp. "Derp!"

"Why, just why?" Leo shook his head.

"Toby Determined," Dipper and Mabel walked up to Toby with determined and confident looks, respectfully. "You are under arrest for the murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan!"

"You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work." The twins high fived.

"Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand."

"I don't understand _you_." Leo muttered.

"Then allow me to explain." Dipper said. "You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline." Leo gave a saccharine smile and crossed his arms.

"You got sloppy though, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught _left_ handed."

"Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news." Mabel said, crumbling the newspaper in her hands. Honestly, Leo felt proud of her in that moment.

"Boy, your knees must be sore from _jumping to conclusions_!" He did a weird little dance. "Ha-cha-cha! I had nothing to do with that murder."

"I knew it! Wait, what did you say?" Dipper said incredulously, his previous confident excitement gone. "Nothing? You say nothing?"

At the same time Mabel said "Huh? What? Could you repeat?" and Leo groaned before asking "Please tell me you're joking."

"Then where were you at the night of the break-in?" Blubs asked, placing his hands on his hips.

"Ehhh…" Toby nervously inserted a tape into the T.V. and it started playing a video of him talking to a cardboard cutout of Shandra Jimenez. " _Finally, we can be alone, cardboard cutout of female TV news reporter Shandra Jimenez_!"

Then he started making out with it.

Almost immediately, Leo's hands flew to Mabel and Dipper's eyes, shielding them from the horrors of Toby practically dry humping the cutout. Various noises of disgust filled the room.

"Timestamp confirms. Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature.

"Hooray!"

"I wouldn't be happy about that, Toby." Leo pointed out, gesturing over to the video.

"But, but it has t be him!" Dipper stammered, taking Leo's hand off his eyes and walking up to the cops. "Check the ax for fingerprints!"

"No prints at all." Blubs declared, after checking it.

"Hey, I got a headline for you: City Kids Waste Everyone's Time!" Durland mocked.

They adults in the room laughed. Leo felt his face flush slightly at their mockery, and he could tell the twins were also embarrassed.

"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I were you three." Toby said, standing next t the old TV with his hands on his hips. Leo managed to shake off enough embarrassment to scoff and glare at him.

"Toby, your video is about to show you dancing horizontally with a _cardboard cutout_ , so I wouldn't talk about being embarrassed."

Toby yelped and quickly shut the TV off.

"C'mon, siblings, let's go home."

* * *

The siblings, along with Soos were all in the attic with all the wax figures holding a memorial for wax Stan. Leo gripped at the sleeves of his jackets, still feeling uncomfortable being near so many wax figures at once.

"Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming." Stan said through teary eyes as Soos cried and blew his nose.

"Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."

"They're wrong!" Soos jumped up and pointed. Leo quickly grabbed Soos' shirt and tried to bring him back down.

"Easy Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven." Stan wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye!"

He cried and ran out of the room, Soos following after him.

Dipper let out a sigh and crossed his arms.

"Those cops are right are right about me."

"No, they're not little brother." Leo wrapped his arm around Dipper's shoulders, trying to provide whatever comfort he could.

"Dipper," Mabel gave him a determined smile. "We've come so far! We can't give up now."

"But I considered everything." He huffed and stood up, walking over to the coffin. Leo and Mabel followed him. "The weapon, the motive, the clues…"

He sighed again and looked inside the coffin before frowning.

"Wax Stan has a hole in his shoe." He noticed.

"All the wax figures have a hole, Dips." Leo said.

"Yeah, it's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy." Dipper gasped.

"Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints?"

"A zombie?" Leo guessed, holding up his finger.

"No!... Maybe… Leo! Mabel! The murderers are—"

"Standing right behind you."

The siblings all whipped around at the voice. Their eyes collectively widened at the sight of the wax figures all standing up and closer than they should have been.

"Wax Sherlock Holmes!" Dipper gaped. "Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio!"

"Wha s'sup Holmes?" Wax Coolio said.

Wax Lizzie Borden reached over and took the axe form Mabel, causing her to back up and cling onto her brothers' shirts and bringing them back with her.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

"Congratulations, my three amateur sleuths," Sherlock said haughtily. "You have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you."

"Oh, hell no…" Leo muttered, gripping onto the twins' clothing and pulling them behind him

"Bravo, Dipper Pines," Sherlock continued with a sneer. "You have discovered our little secret."

He took out Wax Stan's head from his cape.

"Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically…. Uh, no, that sounds too sincere. Slow clap." Sherlock said after the wax figures clapped normally. They started clapping slowly. "There we go, nice and condescending."

"But… how is the possible?" Dipper stuttered out. "You're made of wax!"

Leo was starting to understand Mabel's hatred of clay animation. Even though this was wax, not clay, but he didn't doubt that clay could somehow be evil as well.

"Are you… _magic_?" Mabel asked in awe. Sherlock laughed loudly.

"Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic!" He stopped laughing and pounded his hand against the coffin next them. Leo quickly moved the twins away from him. "We're CURSED!"

"Cursed! Cursed!" The wax figures simultaneously chanted.

"Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale."

"A _haunted_ garage sale, son!" Coolio yelled, coming up next to them. Leo cringed away from him too. Sherlock faced the fireplace.

"And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man."

"But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night."

"It was a charmed life for us cursed beings… That is, until your uncle closed up shop. We've waited ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away… But we got the wrong guy."

Dipper gaped at him in disbelief.

"So, _you're_ trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!"

"You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people _are_ creepy!" Mable yelled.

"Hey! I called it first!" Leo yelled.

"Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must… _die_!" Sherlock yelled, turning from the fireplace dramatically. His, and all of the other wax figures', eyes rolling up until they were completely white. They started approaching them.

"What do we do, what do we do!" Mable yelled.

"I don't know!"

"They all backed up until they reached the food table. Leo grabbed the first thing he could find, which was a fork, and threw it.

"Stay back!"

The twins quickly followed suit and started throwing things at the figures, but they weren't deterred by the onslaught. Dipper grabbed a full coffee maker and threw it, nailing Genghis Khan in the face. He screamed as his body started melting. He ran to the back of the wax crowd.

"That's it! We can melt them with hotty melty things!" Mabel said excitedly.

"Mabes, you're a genius!"

"Hey, I'm the one who threw the coffee."

"Yeah, but I'm not gonna inflate your already too big ego."

"Fair enough."

Dipper and Mabel grabbed the candelabras that were on the table, and Leo grabbed a rod that was hanging from the fireplace and holding it out in front of him like a sword.

"Anyone moves, and we'll melt you into candles!"

"Decorative candles!"

"You really think you can defeat us?" Sherlock asked, leaning away from the hot end of the candles and rod.

"Well, I mean, maybe."

"I-I don't really know. I'm not-I'm not really sure."

"It's worth a shot, I guess."

The siblings' voices overlapped each other's.

"So be it. ATTACK!"

The siblings all separated from their little groups and began taking on wax figures. Leo was caught in a sword fight with Robin Hood before kicking over to wear Lizzie Borden and Mabel were. She tried to swing at Mabel, but accidentally took Robin Hood's head off.

Leo winced before using the rod to block an attack from Edgar Allen Poe.

"You know, your stories always were my favorite when we did them in class." Leo said.

"Why thank you, but that doesn't mean I won't kill you."

"Eh, worth a shot."

Leo quickly stabbed the rod through Poe's chest, the area around it sizzling as the wax melted, before melting the head off. Poe fell with a grunt.

"Even in the grave, all is not lost!"

"Looks like you're going to be writing _nevermore_!" Okay, it wasn't his best, but he was in a stressful situation, okay!

Inwardly cringing at himself, he looked around and saw that Dipper was being cornered by Sherlock.

"Dipper watch out!" Mabel yelled.

"Dipper! Catch!"

Leo threw his rod at Dipper, who caught it and blocked the sword that Sherlock tried to attack him with. They began their own sword fight until Sherlock backed Dipper out of the room.

"Dipper!"

Leo tried to run after them, but Queen Elizabeth blocked his way.

"Listen lady, I am not above punching someone significantly shorter than me!"

"How dare you!"

The Queen threw her crown at his head, causing Leo to duck. He grunted as her body made contact with his in a tackle. He wrestled around with her, until they were close enough to the fireplace, then he kicked her in.

"Leo!"

He turned and ran over to Mabel, yanking John Wilkes Booth off of her and into the fire as well.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm- LOOK OUT!"

Mabel grabbed a fallen sword and cut Shakespeare's head off as he tried to attack Leo from behind.

"Shi-thanks!"

"No prob, big bro-bro."

Leo and Mabel quickly got rid of the remaining wax figures, tossing them in the fire one by one, and sometimes piece by piece if they got too rowdy.

"Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise agayn!" Shakespeare's head shouted from Mabel's hands.

"Y'know any limericks?" She asked.

"Uh… there once was a man from Nantucket…"

"Naughty!" Leo scolded before grabbing the head and tossing it in the fire. The two cleaned their hands and smiled at each other in satisfaction. They heard footsteps and turned to see Dipper walking in.

"Dipper! You're okay!" Mabel yelled happily.

"Guess you solved the mystery, little bro." Leo gave Dipper a noogie causing him to swat at his hands. A

Escaping Leo's hold, Dipper got a chair and took Wax Stan's head off the wall.

"I couldn't have done it without my sidekicks." Leo scoffed and crossed his arms.

"If anything, you're my sidekick, shorty."

"Uh, no offense, but you're both _my_ sidekicks." Mabel shot back, sticking out her tongue at Leo.

"What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?" Dipper asked worriedly.

"Hot Belgium waffles! What happened to my parlor?" Stan yelled once he walked in and saw the mess.

"Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!"

"I decapitated Larry King!"

"I wrestled Queen Elizabeth!"

"Ha-ha! You kids and your crazy imaginations!"

On the bright side, though," Dipper held up the disembodied head and gave it to Stan. "Look what we found."

"My head! Ha-ha, I missed this guy! You done good kids." He walked over to them. "Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing!"

"Oh, I'm not so sure about that. Is there any alternative…?"

"Oh, uh… I'm not so sure…"

The twins tried to say before backing away until Leo pushed them forward and into Stan's noogie-ing hands. They all laughed.

"You too, Leo."

"Fight me, old man!"

Stan grabbed Leo's arm and pulled him in for a noogie as well. They all laughed merrily until they heard a car pull up at the window. They turned to see the Blubs and Durland in their cruiser and smirks on their faces.

"Solved the case yet, boys? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip of my coffee."

He took a long, slow sip.

"Actually," Dipper said smugly. "The answer's yes."

Leo held up the head with his own smirk.

"Blu-blu-blu-" Blubs stuttered as he spit out his coffee onto Durland's face. He screamed and spat out the coffee that went into his mouth back at Blubs and they continued that several times.

"It burns! It burns!"

"My eyes!"

They drove away screaming.

"They got scalded!"

"So, did you guys get rid of all the wax figures?" Dipper asked before they heard a crash.

"Eh, maybe." Leo answered.

"I am ninety-nine percent sure!" Mabel said.

"Good enough for me!"

* * *

"Hmm, hey Dipper, Leo, which do you guys think is better: sequins or llama hair?"

"I don't know, sequins?"

"The llama hair. Llamas are nature's greatest warriors."

"Thanks Dipper!"

"Well, that's the last time I'm giving _you_ advice!"

Dipper looked up from his book confused, before looking back down.

* * *

 **That's a wrap!**

 **Quick question before you exit! Should I have another OC to be a love rival for Wendy or not? I need to know before I do** _ **Double Dipper**_ **which is like four chapters away. Also, the title may be changing soon, so keep an eye out for that.**

 **Alright, now you're free. Thanks again!**


	5. Author's Note PLEASE READ

Hey guys, I know most of you expected an update but my computer is not working properly and I'm not able to write my chapters without receiving error messages or whatever else. So sorry for not updating in a while, but I will continue to do so, just at a very slow pace.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.


	6. The Hand That Rocks the Mabel

**Sorry for the long wait, hope this chapter makes up for it though. However, I feel like this chapter is a lot shorter since most of the episode is a one on one with Mabel and Gideon and I couldn't find a way to fit Leo in it. Oops, sorry.**

* * *

Leo laid on the floor with his legs thrown over the sofa chair armrests and scrolled through his phone, catching up with what was going on in Piedmont and chatting with his friends. He and the twins, and Soos, were all in the living room with some other weird TV show that took the twins' attention. It was about a tiger with a… fist? Honestly, he stopped questioning it once he saw that the show looked like some badly photoshopped video.

He looked back down at his phone, a picture of Maya and Ronnie holding hands and smiling at each other with the caption " _These two are gross_ " on it. He chuckled and replied, " _Too much PDA, arrest them_ ".

The twins and Soos started cheering and Leo looked up from his phone at the screen. Apparently, the tiger had punched himself with his own fist. Lovely.

He looked back down at his phone and Theo had sent a picture of Maya and Ronnie kissing while flipping the camera off. He sent back " _Rude!_ ".

"Hey look. It's that commercial I was telling you guys about." Soos said. Leo looked up in interest and saw the commercial on the TV.

" _Are you completely miserable_?" Yes.

" _Yes_!" Hah!

" _Then you need to meet… Gideon_." The name was whispered out.

"Gideon?" Dipper asked.

"What makes him so special?" Mabel asked back.

"Gotta feeling we're about to find out." Leo said, putting his phone down, his interest suddenly going to the commercial.

" _He's a psychic_."

Mable made a weird noise that sounded vaguely like a dog. Leo immediately rolled his eyes, his interest gone. He took out his phone and continued to scroll through social media again.

" _So, don't waste your time with other so-called "Man of Mystery". Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's_ Tent of Telepathy. _Voidwhereprohibiited,noC.O.D'sCaralI'vealwayslovedyoubutneverhadthegutstosayit._ "

Leo snorted as he caught the last thing the commercial said.

"Wow, I'm getting all curious-y inside!" Mabel exclaimed, kicking her feet.

"Well, don't get too curious-y," Stan walked in and took off his coat, hanging it up. "Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble."

"The fact that you're allowing yourself to be outsmarted by a six-year old is hilarious." Leo smirked at him.

"First of all, he's ten, and second, shut your trap, you smarta-lec." Stan censored himself, remembering that there were children—and a Soos—present.

"Well, is he really a psychic?" Mable cut him off.

"I think we should go and find out." Dipper stood up, along with Mabel.

"Never!" Stan yelled. "You're forbidden from patronizing with the competition."

"Grunkle Stan, he's _ten_!" Leo said, exasperated. Stan chose to ignore him.

"No one that lives under my roof is allowed under Gideon's roof!"

"Do tents have roofs?" Dipper asked.

"I think we just found our loophole." Mable grinned mischievously, before holding up a piece of string with a loop in it. "Literally, _mwop, mwop_!"

"I'm feeling like a rebellious teenager today… let's do it!"

" _So, come down soon, folks. Gideon is expecting you._ "

* * *

"Step right up there, folks! Put your money in Gideon's psychic sack!" A large man with a tacky pink and red floral shirt, green pants and a straw hat yelled. Honestly, he looked like a hippie/farmer combination of Stan and Soos. The tent, for however small it seemed, was pretty flashy. The large star with an eyeball on top and the actual lighting certainly didn't help.

As they walked past the man, Leo slipped a five-dollar bill inside and followed his siblings and Soos. to the near front. He took a seat between Dipper and Soos and leaned against the chair.

"Well, I think I know why Stan doesn't like this place." Leo commented, looking around. The tent wasn't nearly as impressive on the inside as the outside made it out to be. "It seems like it finds good ways to rip people off."

"I know, right?" Dipper said. "This place is like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack. They even have their own Soos!"

He pointed over to a large guy with long brown hair wearing the maintenance uniform with a name tag that read _Deuce_. Soos glared at him, causing Leo to grin and pat his arm.

"Don't worry big guy, you're still number one." Soos sent him a smile.

"It's starting! It's starting!" Mable squealed as the lights dimmed. Music started up and two spotlights circled the audience before settling on the curtains on-stage.

"Let's see what this _monster_ looks like." Dipper said.

There was loud, dramatic music, before the curtains opened and it took all of Leo's willpower to not burst into laughter right there. A small, piggish looking kid, wearing all blue- _and a cape_! - with white hair (that was styled in the _most ridiculous_ hairstyle that he had ever seen on a child) and freckled cheeks stood center stage.

"Hello America! My name's Lil' Gideon!" He clapped twice and doves, fucking _doves_ , flew out of his hair. Leo let out a snort and a puff of laughter before quickly slapping his hand over his mouth again.

" _That's_ Stan's mortal enemy?" Dipper asked, incredulously.

"But he's so… wittle!" Mable cooed.

"I can't… I can't…" Leo started before composing himself again. He let out a breath. "This is great."

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight!... Such a gift! I have a _vision_. I predict that you will all soon say, "aww"." Gideon turned around before turning to the audience again with an adorable pose, causing the audience to go "aww". Leo let out another snort.

"It came true." Mabel said in awe.

"What? I'm not impressed." Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, this seems like a cuter way to con people." Leo said, grinning maniacally.

"You're impressed! You both are!"

"Hit it, Dad!" And then the night went from good to great!

Leo didn't even bother to hide his laughter this time when he saw Dipper's face as music started. Gideon took off his cape and threw it into the audience, the woman in front of them catching it

happily, and then defending it when people tried to fight her for it.

" _Oh, I can see what others can't see._

 _It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability!_

 _Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined_

 _And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me!"_

Dipper scowled at the entertainer as he danced and cutely giggled. Leo was honestly just enjoying this way too much. Gideon moved upstage and grabbed his bolo tie, raising his hands.

" _Come one, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going!_ "

The siblings found themselves standing up.

"Wha-? How did he-?" Dipper tried to say.

" _Keep it going!_

 _You wish your son would call you more._ " He pointed over to an old woman with a cat on her lap.

"I'm leaving everything to my cat!"

"Mreow!"

Gideon pointed over to Blubs, who had on an excessive amount of Gideon merch.

" _I sense that you've been here before_."

"Oh, what gave it away!"

Leo snorted again, _Maybe, it was the fanboy persona that you've put on._

"Come on." Dipper rolled his eyes.

" _I'll read your mind if I am able…_ " Gideon walked up to them and winked at Mabel. " _Something tells me you're named Mabel_!"

"How'd he _do_ that?" Mabel asked in awe.

"Sweetie, you literally sewed your name onto the front of your sweater." Leo pointed out.

" _So, welcome all ye… to the Tent of Telepathy._

 _And thanks for visiting"_ He winked at the audience. " _Widdle ol' me!_ "

He ended his performance in the most extra way possible, with a large flashing sign with his name on it and some fireworks, and Leo was honestly living for it. He clapped, along with everyone else, sans Dipper, and cheered.

"Thank you! You people are the real miracles!"

After that, everyone exited the tent.

"Man, that kid's a bigger fraud than Stan!" Dipper exclaimed. "Now wonder our uncle's jealous."

"Didn't I say so? But, c'mon, that was one hell of a performance." Leo said, throwing his arm around Dipper's shoulders.

"Exactly! His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his hair?" Mable said, excitedly.

"Yeah, it was ridiculous. Who allows their child to be seen like that in public?" Dipper laughed at Leo's comment.

"But it was like, _whoosh_!"

"You're too easily impressed." Dipper told her, rolling his eyes fondly.

"Yeah, yeah!" Mabel started shoving Dipper and the twins got into a play fight as they walked back to the shack.

* * *

Leo and Dipper sat staring at each other in concentration. Leo put a chip in his mouth while Dipper took a sip of his water, not taking their eyes off of each other. Leo smirked at him and crossed his eyes causing Dipper to hold back a laugh.

"Check it out guys!" Mabel called out. Dipper looked at her, causing Leo to let out a loud cheer.

"Ha! I won!"

"What? Boo!"

"Guys!" Mabel said again. Leo turned to her and then stared in horror as he saw that her face was completely covered in sequins. Mabel held up a glue gun. "I successfully bedazzled my face!" She tried to blink, sequins falling out of her face. "Blink… ow."

"Mable, no." Leo shook his head.

"Is that permanent?" Dipper asked, pointing at her. Mabel sighed.

"I'm unappreciated in my time." Leo chuckled slightly. The doorbell rang suddenly, causing the siblings to turn to it.

"Somebody answer that door!" Stan yelled from the other room.

"I'll get it!" Mabel yelled back, shaking the sequins off of her face with her hands and running out.

"Round two?" Leo asked, turning to Dipper again. Dipper put on a serious face and nodded… seriously.

They closed their eyes and Dipper counted to three before they opened them again and started to stare at each other.

"Who's at the door?!" Stan yelled.

"No one Grunkle Stan!" Mabel yelled back.

Dipper blinked.

"I won again!"

"Best 3 out 4!"

* * *

Leo was grabbing a Pit Cola when he heard the door open and close. Opening it, he walked into the living room where Mabel and Dipper were talking.

"He is one dapper little man."

"Mabel, I don't trust anyone who's hair is bigger than their head."

"Who're we talkin' 'bout?" Leo asked, taking a sip.

"Gideon, and his larger than average hair." Dipper said rolling his eyes. Leo nodded solemnly.

"It gives a whole new meaning to the term 'big hair'." Mabel huffed.

"Oh, leave him alone!" Leo looked over at hair and did a double take.

"Sweetie…" He started. "I love you, but _what_ did you do to your face?" She grinned and spun around.

"Isn't it amazing? Gideon did it for me!" Leo blinked and nodded.

"That makes sense."

"Yeah, he's my new friend! One that'll do girly stuff with me since you two never do!"

"I let you paint my nails before!" Leo shot back, defensively.

"Yeah, but mostly during Halloween or when I beat you at something. My point is, I don't get to do girly things often while you two get to do guy things with Soos all the time."

"What do you mean?" Dipper asked. As if on cue, Soos ran in with a pack of hot dogs.

"Hey dudes, you read to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?"

"Am I?" Dipper yelled, jumping out of the couch and running after him.

"I think I see where you're getting at." Leo commented. Mabel nodded.

"Well, I'm going back to Gideon's house, we've got another play date set up." She hugged Leo. Leo hugged her back and ruffled her hair.

"Alright, don't stay out too late, got it? And don't talk to gnomes!"

"It was _one time_!"

* * *

"It's not date-date, it's just, y'know, I don't want to hurt his feelings and so I figured I'd throw him a bone."

Mabel, Dipper and Leo were all in the living room again. The twins were on the couch normally, playing a video game while Leo was sitting on top of the couch's back, playing on his phone.

"Mabel, guys don't work that way. He's gonna fall in love with you." Dipper teased. She scoffed.

"Yeah right, I'm not _that_ loveable." She played with her hair before shooting Dipper in the game and winning. "Kaboom! Yes!"

"Okay, we agree on something here."

"He's right, the best thing to do is to make your intentions clear and cut him off before it gets out of hand." Leo said.

"Yeah, I understand, but I still don't want to hurt his feelings."

"You're going to hurt his feelings either way." Leo shook his head and ruffled her hair. "Do what you gotta do, I got your back either way."

"Thanks, big brother."

The doorbell rang and Mabel went to go answer it. She screamed and Leo immediately got up and ran towards the door. He found Mabel on the ground and helped her up before glaring at the ten-year-old, who was currently sitting on a white horse that was halfway inside the house wearing a cowboy hat.

"Hey, watch it!" Leo snapped. As if he didn't hear him, Gideon held out his hand.

"A night of enchantment awaits, m'lady!" Mabel faked a smile and whispered.

"Oh boy."

Oh boy indeed.

* * *

The restaurant was nice, pretty fancy and maybe a bit over the top but… nice, Mable decided. He took her to some gourmet restaurant and she could appreciate the underwater theme (there wasn't enough glitter though. There was never enough glitter) but she still felt apprehensive about everything. Still, she swallowed back her anxiety and gave Gideon a wide grin.

"I can't believe they let us bring a horse in here!"

"Well, people have a hard time sayin' _no_ to me." He put his feet up on the table and immediately she had to stop herself from cringing in disgust. They were going to _eat_ on this table! The waiter came up and gave Gideon an adoring smile.

"Ah, Monsieur Gideon! Ze feet on ze table! An excellent choice!" He said in an obviously fake French accent as he poured him water. Maybe this place wasn't so fancy after all…

Gideon held us finger up and regarded him in distaste.

"Jean Luc, what did we discuss about eye contact?" Jean Luc immediately turned his head away.

"Yes, yes, very good!" He walked away backwards and Mabel inwardly flinched.

 _If you're on a date with someone and they're nice to you, but not the waiter, they're not a nice person_. She remembered Leo telling her that once she got into boys and right now she couldn't help but think back to it. She swallowed again and picked up a fork.

"I've never seen so many forks!" She tried to make conversation, noting the stiffness in her voice.

"And water with bubbles in it? _Ooh la la, oui, oui_!" Gideon smiled.

"Oh! _Parlez vous francais_?"

"… I have no idea what you're saying."

* * *

It was quiet in the Shack. Dipper was staring into the abyss, Soos was reading a magazine and Leo and Wendy were texting each other as they sat side to side. Yup, it sure was quiet.

"Hey, hey!" Enter Stan Pines. "What the jackal is Mable doing in the paper next that crazy pickpocket Gideon?" He showed a picture on the newspaper of Gideon and Mabel walking down the street. Mabel looked caught off guard while Gideon had a smug smirk on his face. That little bastard.

"Stan, _you're_ a pickpocket." Leo pointed out, looking up from his phone.

"Yeah, but I do it with style." Wendy chuckled.

"Oh, yeah, it's like a big deal. Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight." Leo let out a loud groan and put his head on Wendy's shoulder.

"Do _not_ remind me!"

"What?! That little shyster is dating my great niece?!" Stan snapped.

"I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple. Mabideon? Gideabel?" He gasped. "Magidbeleon!" Stan growled and stomped out of the room, throwing the paper on the ground.

"You're _not helping_ Soos." Leo hissed out, lifting his head.

"I don't know!" Dipper yelled out after Stan. "I didn't hear about it, plus, Leo and I told her not to!"

"Not happy about your sister dating?" Wendy teased as she poked Leo's cheeks.

"I don't care if she dates, her life man. But I do care if she dates a little sh-!" Stan walked back in, chest puffed out and the Angry Dad™ look on his face.

"Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is gonna stop RIGHT now!" He slammed the door.

"Dude, wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet, and he had to come back out again and go out the real door?" Soos asked. Everyone stared at him in silence before he went and opened the front door. "Nope it's a real door."

Leo sighed and put his phone in his pocket.

"Is it wrong that I'm very much okay with going out to find her and dragging her home?"

"Dude relax." Wendy said with a laugh. "I'm sure that she's having a great time. I mean, she _is_ getting free food." Leo gave a weak laugh.

"Yeah, but I think I see why Stan hates Gideon so much."

"Must be his hair."

"Oh definitely." Leo grinned at her mischievously. "He's full of secrets, that's why his hair's so big."

Wendy laughed and punched his arm. "Don't go referencing Mean Girls at me, mister!"

"I'll do what I want!" They spent the rest of the time playfully bantering, successfully keeping Leo's mind off Mabel's date. Maybe she _was_ going to be fine. It was just one date, right?

What's the worst that could happen?

* * *

Mabel was not having a fun time. Gideon spent most of the date talking about himself and his accomplishments and didn't let her get a word in otherwise. Was he like this during their play dates? She didn't notice it then. Then again, she didn't notice he had feelings for her either so maybe he was.

"… And so I said "Autograph your own headshot lady!"' Gideon said, ending his story with a laugh. Mabel nervously chuckled as well, tapping her lobster with her fork causing it to tap her fork back.

"Mabel, tonight's date was a complete success!" She wasn't so sure about that. "And tomorrow's date promises to top this one in every way!" Mable started.

"Whoa, whoa, you said just _one_ date, and this was it!" Gideon's smile froze slightly before he put his hand up to his mouth.

"Hark! What a surprise!" He outstretched his hand and a bird flew onto his arm. "A red crested South American rainbow macaw!" Mabel screamed and grabbed her lobster, holding it away protectively.

"… two three four…"

"MABEL! WILL YOU- ACCOMPANY- GIDEON- TO- THE BALLROOM DANCE- THIS- THURBDAY!" Gideon shook the bird around violently and Mabel flinched. "THURSDAY!"

It coughed up a letter and flew away. _Nooo, take me with you_! Mabel silently pleaded.

"Oh, so adorable!"

"Gideon's got a girlfriend!"

No, no it's _not_ adorable, he _does not_ have a girlfriend! She inwardly cried.

Gideon smiled at he- it felt _wrong_ \- and held up the letter. "They're expectin' us. Please say you'll go."

No, no, no. She swallowed and gave him an apprehensive look.

"Oh, Gideon, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to say-"

"I'm on the edge of my seat" Blubs said, uncomfortably close to her. She noticed that they had attracted a crowd. She was trapped. Both literally and metaphorically. She can't say no in front of all these people!

"This is gonna be adorable." Please stop, Toby.

"If she says no, I'll die from sadness." Wait, what?

"I can verify that that will indeed happen." Not the doctor too! The people all started chattering and agreeing.

"Mabel?" She turned back to Gideon. Was it her, or did he look so much more wicked than usual? "Whaddaya say?"

"S-sure, I'd love to."

What has she done?

* * *

Mabel walked dejectedly into the living room and found her brothers lounging on the sofa. Dipper's face was stuck in his journal and Leo was hanging upside down with his headphones on and his eyes on the book he was trying to balance on top of his baseball bat.

"Hey! How'd it go?" She heard Dipper ask. She sighed and opened the fish tank, dropping her supposed dinner inside.

"I don't know, I have a lobster now."

"That's good, right? New pet!" Thank you for trying to be optimistic, Leo, really appreciate it, she thought.

"At least this was just a one-time thing and you'll never have to go on another date with him." She bit her lip and tapped the glass of the tank.

"Mabel? It's over, right? Mabel?" She averted her eyes, not wanting to catch a glimpse of them through the glass.

"Oh, sweetie, no. Tell me you didn't…"

"BLAARRGG!" She screamed and turned around, flailing her arms. She gripped her face. "He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say no!"

"Like this: no." Dipper sassed. Leo quickly smacked his head.

"Stop mocking her."

"Thank you, Leo. Besides, it's not like I could with all those people staring at me!"

"Excuse me, _what_? Did he pressure you into saying yes?" Leo snapped, gripping the bat tighter in his hand.

"No!... Yes? I don't know." She shook her head. "But it's not that I don't like him! I do, but as a friend slash little sister, I don't want to hurt his feelings. I just need to get things back to the way they were. Y'know, us being _friends_."

"Mabel, it's not gonna be that easy." Dipper said, crossing his arms. Leo nodded.

"He's right. And one way or another, one of you is gonna get hurt and based on what you said happened at the restaurant, it might be _you_."

"But maybe I could-"

"Mabel. Leo gave her the Look™.

"Alright, alright. I'll set the record straight, once and for all!" Sh stood up and put her fists on her hips determinedly.

* * *

"...I mean, he's so nice, but… I can't keep doing this. But I can't break his heart." Mabel mumbled to herself as she paced around the living room. She stopped and gripped her head. "I have no way out!"

Leo walked in with Dipper and shook his head when he saw her panicked state.

"You couldn't do it, could you?"

"Mabel, what the heck happened on that date?" Dipper asked, walking up to her.

"I don't know!" She shouted. "I was in the friend zone, and before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone! It was like quicksand! Chubby quicksand!" She grabbed Dipper and started to shake him.

"Mabel, come one. It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon." Dipper said, prying her hands off of him. Leo nodded in agreement, thankful when he say her calm down.

Enter Stan Pines.

"Great news, Mabel. You have to marry Gideon!"

Leo's eye twitched.

" _Wonderful timing, Stanford_." He gritted his teeth.

"WHAT?!" Mabel started to hyperventilate.

"It's all part of my long term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus I got this shirt." Stan gestured to himself in the "Team Gideon" shirt before pausing and cringing. "Ugh, I am fat."

Mabel screamed and ran out of the room. Dipper followed after her.

"Bodies change, honey! Bodies change…"

Leo glared at him. "What the actual hell, man!"

Stan blinked. "What'd I do?"

"You basically just sold your niece to a ten year old and his dad?"

"What? Pshh, no, I didn't!" Leo stared at him blankly. Stan stared back before his eyes widened. "Oh shit."

"Great, you've caught on. Now go sit in the corner and think about what you did." Leo took his arm and sat him down on the sofa chair. He ran upstairs to find Dipper striding down with a purpose.

"Did you calm her down?"

"Yeah, I'm going to go break up with Gideon for her." Leo smirked.

"Gonna cross dress as your sister?"

"I will find a way to murder you without anyone noticing." Leo laughed and headed towards the twins' room. He found Mabel on her bed chewing her hair nervously with her sweater almost covering her head.

"Aw sweetie, were you in Sweater Town?" She nodded and threw herself into Leo's arms when he sat down. "It'll be alright, hun. Dipper's gonna go and break up with your boyfriend and then you'll never have to deal with him again, 'kay?"

She nodded into his chest. "What if he can't do it?"

Leo scoffed. "Trust me, Mabel Leaf, he's gonna do it." Dipper was also getting increasingly annoyed with the little brat that kept bothering their sister.

She didn't say anything.

"Do you wanna go make sure that he broke up with Gideon?" She looked up at him before nodding. Leo nodded back and moved so that he could stand up. "Well then, let's go."

She smiled and pulled him out of the room. He took the golf cart and drove them over to where she told him to go to find Dipper walking out of the restaurant. Mabel jumped out of the cart, ignoring Leo's cries to be careful, and ran up to her twin.

"How'd it go? Was he mad? Did her try to read your mind with his psychic powers?"

"Don't worry, Mabel, he's just a kid. He doesn't have any powers." He said putting his hand on her shoulder. Leo ruffled her hair.

"See? Told you he'd do it. Now, come along children. I have a Grunkle to take out of time out."

* * *

The Pines siblings were all outside with Soos who was stuffing his shirt with pillows.

"Hit me dudes!" The twins both charged at Soos while Leo recorded them. They bounced off and laughed.

"Feels good." Soos said.

"I'm so glad everything is back to normal." Mabel said before the telephone started to ring. She looked at Dipper.

"Your turn."

"Your turn" Dipper finished just a second after Mabel. "Aw, man."

He got up to go answer the phone. Leo poked Mabel in the head.

"Feel better, hun?" She beamed and nodded. Dipper then ran out.

"Hey, Leo, I'm going to borrow the golf cart! 'Kay? Cool, now I'm gonna go before you have a chance to process this sentence!" He jumped into the golf cart and drove off. Leo blinked.

"What just happened?"

"Your brother just jumped into a golf cart and drove off without giving you a chance to process what he said." Soos said, stuffing more pillows under his shirt. Leo blinked again.

" _What_?"

* * *

Mabel sat on the front steps of the Mystery Shack and chewed on her hair and thinking. She felt a bit guilty about having her brother break up with her not-boyfriend for her. She should have been able to do that herself.

"How's that hair tastin', buddy?" Wendy asked and sat down next to her. Mabel sighed.

"Wendy, I need some advice. You've broken up with guys, right?"

"Oh yeah." Wendy started counting her fingers. "Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stoney Davidson…"

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel gross!"

"...Mike Worley, Nate Holt, oh, that guy with tattoos…"

"Maybe letting Dipper do it for me was a mistake. Gideon deserves an honest break up."

"...Danny Feldman, Mark Epston… Oh man, I'm not sure I ever actually broke up with him. No _wonder_ he keeps calling me."

"I know what I gotta do. Thanks for telling me Wendy." Leo then walked out with a glass of lemonade in his hands.

"Hey ladies."

"Leo, I'm gonna go properly break up with Gideon, don't wait up! Now I'm gonna go before you have time to process this sentence, okay BYE!" She hugged him before running down the steps, getting a bike and riding off. Leo blinked, feeling a sense of déjà vu.

"What just happened?" Wendy snorted and took the glass from him, smirking at his scandalized look.

"Mabel just ran off to go break up with Gideon and left before you could process what she said." Leo groaned.

"Not again! I swear, being a elderly mom is so much work. Especially when I'm a teenage boy." He paused and looked at Wendy. "Also, you took my drink!"

"Yup." She sipped it and gave him a smug smile. "What're you gonna do about it?"

"Well, first I'm going to cry. Then I'm going to make myself another one, and then cry some more because it won't _be the same_!" He turned on his heel and flounced back in the Shack dramatically, leaving Wendy laughing loudly.

* * *

"You dated a guy named _Stoney Davidson_?!" Leo guffawed. Wendy snorted and he could practically hear the eye roll over the phone..

"It's not funny, you dick!"

"Yes it is! Did he turn out to be a stoner?" She didn't reply, causing Leo to roar with laughter again. "He did!"

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I'm sure you've dated some weird girls before."

"Yeah, but none of them were named _Stoney Davidson_."

"Alright, we're done here. Bye, jerk." She laughed.

"Bye, say hi to Stoner-" She hung up before he could finish causing him to laugh again. Leo charged his phone and went downstairs, where he found his lovely family gathered around the living room. Stan was hanging up a clown painting ( _creepy_ ) and the twins were spread on the sofa looking worn out.

"I could've had it all." Stan sighed. Leo quirked an eyebrow and smirked.

"Rolling in the deep?" He chuckled before taking a good look at his younger siblings.

"What the heck happened here?" He asked, at the same time that Stan asked, "What the heck happened to you two?"

"Gideon." Mabel answered, turning to face the two older males in the room.

"Gideon." Dipper agreed.

"Gideon?" Leo asked incredulously.

"Gideon." Stan said as if the name were a curse. Stan sat down next to the twins while Leo sat on the floor. "Yeah, the little mutant "swore vengeance" on the whole family. Ha, I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles or somethin'." He wiggled his foot, laughing.

"Oh, yeah." Dipper's eyes lit up. "Yeah, how's he gonna destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of?" He laughed.

"He'll never guess what number I'm thinking of." Mabel threw her hands up in the air. "Negative eight! No one would guess a _negative_ number!"

The Pines family all shared a collective laugh.

"Alright, you two gotta fill me in on what happened tonight. Also, you're grounded for leaving without me." The twins booed and complained but didn't fight against it, knowing that he was just kidding. Stan snorted before gathering the twins in his arm.

"Uh oh. He's planning our destruction right now!" He climbed on top of them and layed down on them as they all laughed, completely unaware of what was about to happen.

* * *

"You done?"

"Not yet."

"How about now?"

"Almost. And… there." Soso turned around, sequins covering his entire front side.

"Let's do this." He held his arms out and closed his eyes. Mabel turned off the lights, Dipper shined his flashlight at Soos, and Leo played on the music as Soos spun around, causing the room to look like a disco ball. Stan watched the scene unfold, a bottle of Pitt cola in his hand and completely unimpressed.

"You're all fired."

* * *

 **And that's a wrap. Again, sorry for the delay, but I am determined to get through this story! Also, some of you have asked and the rival for Wendy isn't a rival of Leo's to compete for Wendy. It's a rival of Wendy's to compete for Leo. I still don't know if I want to go that route, but we'll see.**

 **Hope you enjoyed!**


	7. Dine and Dash

**I really tried not to use slang and memes since the show took place in 2012 which was seven years ago and some of the slang and memes we use now we didn't use then… but nah. This is already an AU so might as well amirite?**

* * *

Leo yawned into his hand for the fifth time that hour. Stocking the eyeballs was never really fun, but he would much prefer doing that and having staring competitions with them than having to do the T-shirts. At least the eyeballs could hold a decent staring contest. The shirts just existed in the same space as him.

Messily folding a shirt, he placed it on the display table and moved to the other side. He looked at the empty side and then to the half full box of shirts, then to the table, to the box, to the table. He groaned.

"Dude, you sound like you're dying." Wendy chortled, idly flipping her magazine. Leo turned to her and gave another groan, this time much more exaggerated and loud. Wendy snorted.

"Of boredom, maybe. If I see another question mark I'm going to lose it!" He cradled his head in his hands, coincidentally, this made him see the question mark on his bracelet, causing him to huff. "That's it, I'm taking a break."

He kicked the box of shirts underneath the table and walked towards the front desk, taking the keys to the golf cart.

"You coming, Wendy?" She looked up from her magazine before giving him a demure look.

"Who, me? Oh, I don't know." She cooed, a small smirk threatening to show on her face. "Mr. Pines told us to watch the store, and it would be _very_ irresponsible for us to do anything other than what we were told, Leonardo!"

He raised his eyebrows and smirked. "So, you in?" Wendy laughed and threw her magazine on the counter.

"Yeah, let's go."

She jumped over the counter and poked Leo in the cheek before racing outside, Leo following after her. They jumped into the golf cart and Leo drove off.

"Alright, Stan is off doing God knows what for the next three hours. Meaning, we have to be back before then in order not to get caught." Leo said. Wendy nodded solemnly.

"Of course, wouldn't want to ruin our model employee reputation."

"Of course not." He snorted. "So where to?"

"You didn't even have a plan?" She asked laughing.

"Hey, in my defense, I'm still technically the new guy. I don't know all this wondrous town has to offer."

"That excuse is not going to work after today. Take a left at the next street."

He did as he was told and followed her other instructions after that. Eventually, they made it to _Big Gunz Laser Tag_. Leo parked the cart and they got out. Wendy practically dragged him inside and he laughed at her enthusiasm. They paid for their separate guns and vests, grinning at each other as they entered the room.

"Are we going to team up or are we against each other?" Leo asked. Wendy smiled at him before his vest lit up. He looked down and saw that she had shot him. "Wow, okay. Rude."

"Try and keep up Pretty Boy!"

She ran off to hide and he scrunched his nose before running in and finding his own spot. The game music was loud and the shooting noises the guns made and the ones that come with someone getting hit was louder. He had managed to find Wendy and they went back and forth shooting each other. They didn't know who got the most shots, but at that point the objective was to get the last shot in.

Leo slowly walked out of his hiding space, back against the wall, and looked around. He saw some kid running away and he shot him, as well as the one chasing him, before ducking back down. A flash of familiar red hair caught his eye and he immediately turned, dodging out of Wendy's fire range before she could pull the trigger.

"Sneak attack, that's low!"

"Too bad!" She raised her gun at him again only to find that her trigger wouldn't work. She looked down and her vest stopped glowing, causing her to give a fake glare. "How dare you attack a defenseless lady!"

"Defenseless?" Leo scoffed. "You were three seconds away from shooting me!"

"You're right." She grinned as her ten seconds were up and she shot Leo's vest. "And I still managed to beat you."

"This is some next level betrayal, Wendy. I am wounded." They both laughed as the shooting noises died down and their time was up. "And you managed to get the last shot in? Curse you!"

Wendy laughed at Leo's dramatics and they went to go return their vests. As they walked out of the room, they squinted as the sun blinded them from being in a dark room for so long. They found their way back to the cart and drove off to the arcade next.

They got their coins and decided to mostly play two-player games because they both a bit too competitive. Wendy managed to beat Leo at Fight Fighters and Immortal Warfare, but Leo beat her at some generic racing game and Dancey Pants Revolution. After a lengthy discussion on who kicked who's butt at video games (Wendy definitely won overall but Leo wasn't going to let her have the satisfaction of him admitting it thank you very much), they went to finish off the rest of their coins on a co-op shooting game.

"Leo, to the right!"

"I'm going to the right, but this one needs both of us to kill it!"

"Well, I'm dying over here!"

"Wait-no-fu-shit!...I died."

"Yeah, me too."

"Wanna get food?"

"Yes."

And with that they left the arcade, pocketing the tickets to save and cash in later for a better prize. They went back to the cart and Leo drove them to that one diner Stan always took them. Really it was the only place in town he knew where to get to even if he didn't know the name.

Once they went in, they sat at a booth near the window and waited to for someone to take their order. In the meantime, Wendy was telling Leo a story.

"So then Robbie dared Thompson to take a look inside and this giant spider just _jumped_ on him!"

"How giant is giant?"

"Like, the size of both of your fists together makes just the body." Leo winced.

"I could never. I'd cry legit tears. Poor Thompson." Wendy smirked.

"Not really, because he then threw the spider on Robbie and he fell into a mud puddle."

"He low key deserved it though." Leo pointed out as Lazy Susan came by with a notepad. Smiling up at her, they placed their order. They decided to split a plate of cheese fries, Leo getting a lemonade while Wendy got Pitt Cola.

"Only low key?" Leo smirked and Wendy grinned before leaning back in her seat. "Okay, now tell me about your friends. How do you big city people have fun?"

"Well," Leo started. "I wouldn't know about the 'big city people' but us small city people usually just hang out at each other's houses and drive the parents crazy."

"Can't be any worse than what we do here."

"My friend, Theo, once broke our friend Ronnie's aunt's vase."

"That's it?" Wendy scoffed. She and her friends have done worse. Leo quirked his eyebrow at her dismissal and grinned.

"That thing cost $950." Her eyes widened in shock and she spluttered, sitting upright.

" Nine-what!? How the hell did he break it?"

"We were playing UNO and he put down a plus four, only for all of us to also put down a plus four until it reached back to him. He ended up rage quitting by throwing the pillow he was sitting on at the vase's general direction and ended up actually hitting it."

Lazy Susan came back with their plate of cheese fries and their drinks.

"Enjoy your meal!"

"Thank you." They both said before immediately digging in.

"How did the aunt react?" Wendy asked, swallowing her mouthful. Leo smiled innocently.

"We're not allowed to go to Ronnie's anymore."

"And all over an UNO game."

"At least it wasn't a monopoly game." They both laughed. Leo looked at the clock above the counter

"Looks like we have about an hour left. So, Wendy, what do you wanna do next?" She grinned at him before schooling her features to look completely emotionless.

"Same thing we always do, Leo: try to take over the world!"

Leo looked at her, mouth agape. "Did you just make a _Pinky and the Brain_ reference?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"I might just have to marry you now." Wendy laughed.

"And if I refuse?" She asked, crossing her arms. Leo mirrored her and gave her his best sassy expression

"It wasn't a choice, sweetie. We're getting hitched tomorrow, wear your best flannel."

"Well, if I don't get choice then might as well." She propped her elbows onto the table and smirked at him. "Where's my ring?"

He waved her off, taking another fry and popping it in his mouth.

"I'll buy you a ring pop later. Right now, these fries are more important."

"How dare you!" Wendy cried in mock outrage. "I want a divorce!"

"We need to get married before we can have a divorce."

"Says who?"

"I don't know. Sequencing?" Wendy blinked.

"Alright, I give."

They spent the rest of the their time joking and laughing. Leo shared the story of how he met his friends through a summer camp (honestly, those counselors ended up regretting making them socialize with each other. They were terrible) and Wendy shared that her and her friends just knew each other from going to the same school all their lives. The duo had long since finished their food and drinks and were just waiting on their check.

Leo looked up at the clock and choked on air.

"Wendy."

"Yeah?"

"We have two minutes before Stan gets back." Wendy jolted and looked at the clock. They both gave each other a look for a few seconds before dashing out of the diner and into their golf cart, quickly turning it on and racing back to the Shack.

"How did we not notice this?!"

"Forget that and drive!"

After running several stop signs, red lights and pedestrians, they managed to get back to the Shack with minimal damage to themselves and the cart. Quickly, Leo went to the shirts and picked one up from the box, making it look like he was in the middle of folding. Meanwhile, Wendy jumped the counter and grabbed her magazine as if she never left her spot. It was then the Stan walked into the Shack, smelling suspiciously of gasoline and smoke. He gave the two teens a suspicious look.

"Anything happen 'round here?"

"Nope."

"Nothing."

They said at the same time, giving him innocent smiles. Stan looked at them one more time before Leo asked, "Hey, what's that stain on your shirt?"

"Don't worry about it." Stan said hurriedly and walked out of the room. The teens released the breaths they were holding before busting out into laughter.

"Can't believe we managed to get away with that!" Leo said as his laughter died down.

"I can. You should see what I get away with on a daily basis." Wendy relaxed and started to flip her magazine. "By the way, you still owe me a ring pop for our marriage."

Leo smiled at her.

"And you'll get your ring pop, wifey."

For a moment the two sat in silence, Leo going back to restocking the shelves and Wendy manning the register. And then Leo had a sudden thought.

"Hey Wendy?" She looked up from her magazine. "Did we just dine and dash?"

Blink, one. Two. Three.

"Oh shi-!"

* * *

 **And done! Hope that it was worth the wait. This chapter also didn't want to get written, which is why it's a little on the short side, lol.**

 **See you next time!**


	8. The Inconveniencing

**Enjoy!~**

* * *

The next day, Wendy and Leo went to the diner and paid for their meal, both apologizing profusely and giving a large tip. Fortunately, Lazy Susan didn't hold it against them and admitted to forgetting about their paycheck.

"I seem to be forgetting lots of things recently… Lots of things." She had said monotonously with a dazed look as she stared off into the distance. Freaked out, the two teens apologized again and ran out of the restaurant.

* * *

A week later finds the Pines siblings, Wendy, and Soos _working diligently_ on their respective jobs. Because they were _all_ model employees.

"Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?" Dipper asked suddenly looking up at his sister who was sitting on a spinning globe.

"I believe you're a huge dork!" She giggled before screaming as she fell off when Dipper stopped the globe with his pencil.

"How about you, Leo?" Leo sat up from his lying down position on top of the counter and gave Dipper a blank stare.

"Have you not been listening to my Easter Bunny rants throughout the years?"

"I tend to tune you out most of the time."

"I will smite you child." Wendy snorted and looked up at him from behind her magazine,biting the ring from a blue raspberry ring pop in her mouth. Leo stuck his tongue out at her.

"Soos! Wendy! Leo!" Stan yelled, coming in from outside. Leo crossed his legs on the counter while Wendy stood up and went to stand by Soos who had ran in.

"What's up, Mr. Pines!"

"I'm headin' out. You three are gonna wash the bathrooms, right?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Absolutely not!"

"You thought!"

Soos, Wendy, and Leo all yelled while saluting. Stan laughed.

"You stay out of trouble!" Stan's smile fell and he glared at his three employees. He gave them the "I'm watching you" signal before backing out of the shop. Wendy smirked and turned towards the Pines siblings. Leo raised his eyebrows at her in question but she just walked past them.

"Hey guys! What's this?" She pulled back a curtain that Leo hadn't noticed before. "Secret ladder to the roof?"

"Oh hell yeah!" Leo grinned and jumped off the counter. "Why have I never seen this before?"

"Because you're unobservant." Dipper deadpanned.

"I _will_ smite you, small one."

Soos gave Wendy a nervous look. "Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines would like that."

"Huh?" Wendy reached for the ladder and then pulled away at the last minute.

"Uhhhh."

"Huh?"

"You're freaking me out, dude!" Soos yelled, hands flying to pull on his cap. Wendy grinned and jumped on the ladder.

"Can we actually go up there?" Dipper asked.

"Sure we can!" Wendy grinned before using one hand to fist pump the air. "Roof time! Roof time!"

"Roof time! Roof time!" The Pines siblings yelled back before they all climbed up after her.

As they got to the top, Wendy opened a trap door and climbed out onto the roof, followed by Dipper, Mable, and finally, Leo. They followed her from the roof of the shack on to the top of the roof of the actual house behind it, Leo making sure they were up before he climbed himself. Once they got up there, they saw a little piece of the roof that covered a window with a beach umbrella, an outdoor lounge chair, a bucket, and a cooler.

"Woah!" The twins marveled while Leo gave out a low whistle. The view was absolutely stunning. Even if it _was_ just a bunch of trees. At one point, if he stared out long enough, the trees started to look as if they were fake.

"Cool! Did you put all this stuff up here?" Leo was brought back from his musings by Dipper's voice. They all climbed down until they arranged themselves on the small perch. Wendy looked out into the horizon with her hand in her hair.

"I may or may not sneak up here during work, all the time, everyday." Leo sat on the chair and laid back with his arms behind his head.

"Without me? Wifey, how could you?" He pouted up at her. Wendy turned to him and laughed.

"Aw, shucks, if you wanted me to take you up here all you had to do was ask."

"How could I ask if I didn't know that this existed?"

"Touche" She grabbed an acorn from the bucket and threw at a totem pole that had a bulls-eye on it. She hit it in the center. "Yes!"

The twins quickly started grabbing handfuls of acorns and threw them at the totem pole with varying degrees of success. Dipper threw an acorn that ended up missing completely and hit a car instead, causing the alarm to go off. He winced and blushed.

"Dipper, please." Leo shook his head at his younger brother ginning when he glared at him, his cheeks turning an even deeper shade of pink.

"Hey, he hit the jackpot so leave him alone." Wendy scolded him before turning to Dipper and offering her hand. "High five!"

Dipper stared at her.

"... Don't leave me hangin'." He grinned and jumped so that he could reach her hand. Leo recognized the look he gave Wendy and internally groaned. There was a loud horn and a car pulled up.

"Oh hey, it's my friends!" A hand waved out of the window and a guy's voice called out her name. She turned to the siblings.

"You, you guys aren't gonna tell Stan about this right?"

"And then not be able to use this to my advantage?" Leo sat up and grinned at her. She grinned back and booped his nose. She turned to the twins and Dipper made a zipping motion at his lips. She did it back to him.

"Later dorks!" She jumped from the roof and slid down the tree and on to the round before hopping into the car.

"Let's get out of here!" The car sped off.

"Later Wendy!" Dipper yelled after the car. "Heh heh heh! Good times…" Leo groaned again and stood up.

"Uh oh!" Mable teased.

Dipper turned towards his siblings and furrowed his brows in confusion. "What?"

"Somebody's in love!" Mable said, punching him in the shoulder. Leo crossed his arms and looked at him.

"Yeah, and it's only gonna end badly for you."

"Yeah right! Look guys, I just think Wendy's cool, okay?" Dipper said defensively. "Besides, it's not like I lie awake at night thinking about her."

* * *

"Uh oh."

* * *

"Random dance party for no reason!" Mabel yelled. She turned on an old boombox as she and Wendy started dancing. Leo was smothering his laughter behind his hands as he recorded them, as per Mable's request.

"Go, go, go!"

Leo noticed Dipper off to the side staring at Wendy with a clipboard in his hands. He looked down at it and nodded. Probably was pretending to write something down to avoid awkwardness. Honestly, Leo taught him well.

"Dipper!" He fumbled with the clipboard before hiding it behind his back. Leo couldn't stop the snort that escaped his mouth.

"Uh, what, yes?"

"Aren't you gonna get in on this?" Leo snorted and stopped recording, knowing what was about to happen and that Dipper would put almonds in his pancakes if he was caught recording.

"I don't really dance." Dipper blushed.

"Yeah you do!" Mable gestured towards him. "Mom used to dress him up in a lamb costume and make him do…" She pulled back and waved her hands. " _The Lamby Dance_!"

Oh Mabel, Leo thought amusedly, never change.

Dipper on the other hand wasn't as amused by his sister's antics and glared at her.

Now is not the time to talk about the the Lamby Dance." Wendy grinned at the new information.

"Lamb costume? Wow, is there like little ears and a tail or…?" Dipper blushed.

"Well, uh, uh.." Thankfully, Leo took pity on him, sort of, and stepped in, coming up to stand beside Wendy.

"Yep. But we don't talk about the Lamby Dance. He's _sheepish_ about it." Dipper glared at his brother in disgust while Wendy snorted and punched his arm.

"Yeah!" Mabel piped up, holding up a picture of a younger Dipper dressed in an adorable lamb costume. "Dipper would prance around and sing a song about grazing!"

While she spoke, Dipper kept trying to subtly tell Mable to cut it off. Unfortunately, subtle isn't a word Mabel is familiar , the cuckoo clock went off, cutting off the conversation.

"Hey would you look at that?" Wendy yanked off her name tag and shoved it in her pocket. "Quitin' time! The gang's waitin' for me."

She started to walk out, giving Leo a fist bump as she passed him.

"Wait!" She stopped and turned towards Dipper. "Maybe I could-uh, _we_ could come with you."

Leo narrowed his eyes at him in suspicion. He and Mabel shared a look and he could tell that she also could tell what happened. Wendy, though, seemed apprehensive.

"Ooh… I don't know. My friends are pretty… intense. I'm sure Leo could handle it but, how old did you guys say you are again?"

"They're tw-." Leo was cut off by Dipper.

"Thirteen! We're thirteen, so... technically a teen." Dipper gave her a nervous smile.

"Alright, I like your moxie, kid. Just lemme grab my stuff." As Wendy walked out Leo glared at him.

"Since when are we thirteen? Is this a leap year?" Mabel asked.

"Okay one, that's not how leap years work, sweetie." Leo said crossing his arms. "And, two, that was rude. Also, since when _are_ you thirteen? Last I checked you were only twelve."

"C'mon guys! Mabel, this is our chance to hang out with, y'know, the cool kids!"

"You've hung out with me and my friends plenty of times!"

"I said the _cool_ kids, Leo."

"Rude!... But true. Carry on. " Leo leaned back against the counter.

"Anyways, yeah the cool kids. And Wendy and whatever." Leo groaned again.

"And there it is."

"I knew it!" Mabel yelled, jumping over the counter top. "You love her! Love, love, love, love, love!"

"Hey, what's that over there?"

"Huh?"

Dipper flipped Mabel's hair over her face when she looked at the direction he pointed. She tried to spit out the hair in her mouth.

* * *

The siblings followed Wendy out of the Shack where there were five other teenagers. There was a guy who was a bit heavier set than the others being held upside down by a tall blond and a dark skinned guy with a hat on. There was another guy that looked like he just stepped out of a Hot Topic throwing jelly beans at the one upside down while a girl with purple hair recorded it.

"In the belly! In the belly!" The two guys that were holding the one chanted.

Wendy grabbed a jelly off the ground and threw it, getting it perfectly in the belly button. The blond and the dark skinned guy dropped their friend. Leo couldn't help but feel sorry for that guy. Poor guy.

"Wendy!" They all yelled.

"Wendy, Wendy!" The dark skinned one chanted. Wendy smiled and led the siblings over.

"Hey guys! This is my trophy husband, Leo."

She grabbed his arm and he gave a resigned sigh.

"Rude, but true."

"And these are my pals from work, Mabel and Dipper."

"I chewed my gum so it looks like a brain! Blah!" She stuck out her tongue and showed them her gum. Leo wondered where he went wrong.

"She not much for a first impression." Dipper said, jabbing his thumb in her direction. "Unlike this guy!" He pointed at himself, becoming awkward when no one reacted.

"This guy…"

Leo wondered again where he went wrong. There were two strums of a guitar and Leo noticed a Wannabe-Gerard Way-So-Bad leaning up against the van.

"So are you, like, babysitting or…?"

Leo already didn't like him. Wendy scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"C'mon Robbie!" Apparently All Time Low-life was named Robbie. "Guys, this is Lee and Nate," The two guys from earlier were laughing and punching each other. Just two dudes being bros. "Tambry," She pointed over to the girl with purple hair who briefly looked up from her phone before going back to texting.

"Hey."

"Sup?" Leo gave her a head nod. Oka, she seemed cool.

"Thompson, who once ate a runover waffle for 50 cents."

"Don't tell them that!" Thompson whined, looking embarrassed.

"And Robbie. You could probably figure him out." Robbie was still strumming his guitar before looking at the siblings with a bored expression.

"Yeah, I'm the guy who spray painted the water tower."

Yes, because that makes you cool and edgy, Leo thought with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh! You mean the big muffin!" Dipper said.

"Um, it's a giant explosion." Robbie said defensively. Leo snorted.

"It looks like a muffin, dude."

Everyone looked up at the water tower to see that the explosion did, in fact, look like a muffin.

"Hehe, Kinda does look like a muffin!" Lee laughed and Nate joined in.

Robbie glared at the Pines brothers. Dipper gave him a sheepish smile back while Leo just glared back. They both continued glaring at each other until Wendy cut in.

"Let's hurry it up, guys! I got big plans for tonight." She clapped her hands and the gaggle of teenagers, plus two preteens started piling up in the car cheering. Dipper tried to to go in the front passenger seat but was cut off by Robbie.

"Sorry, kid, I ride shotgun alright?" Dipper gave another sheepish smile and went to the back.

"Prick." Leo muttered.

"What was that?" Mabel asked from her place next to him.

"Nothing you need to worry about, sweetie."

Thompson started up the car. He turned to everyone.

"Before we go, my mom said you guys aren't allowed to punch the roof of the car anymore, so…"

There was a beat of silence before the teens, sans Leo, started punching the roof.

"Thompson! Thompson!" Thompson sighed and started driving.

In the back were the Pines twins while Tambry and Leo sat in the trunk, both on their phones.

"So…" Leo started. "How long have you been in Gravity Falls?"

"Life." Tambry responded, giving him another quick glance before returning to her own screen.

"Uh, right." He sighed and looked back down at his phone. He awkwardly started checking his social media. Apparently, Ronnie and Maya went out on a date and were posting their pictures at the same time. Those two were so cute, Leo wanted to vomit.

"Phone." He looked up in surprise.

"Uh…" Was his clever response. She sighed and held her hand out.

"Give, me, your, phone." Leo did as he was told and watched as she started furiously tapping on his phone, before going to her phone. Once she was done, she gave his back. He looked down and realized that he had a message open with Tambry. He blinked and a message popped up.

Tambry

 _I don't like talking so we'll text instead_

He looked up at her and she gave him a small quirk of her lips. He grinned back.

Leo

 _I don't mind_

 _Not like we would be able to have an actual conversation with how loud it is in here_

"GIRLFRIE-MPH!" Leo jerked at the sound of his sister yelling. Guess she decided to tease Dipper on his hopeless crush. Tragic.

Tambry

 _Your family is weird_

Leo

 _So are your friends_

Tambry

 _ **[**_ _Image sent_ _ **]**_

It was the meme of the guy saying "You got me there."

Leo might have just found a new friend.

* * *

"There is it is fellas," Wendy said. She turned to Leo and grinned mischievously. "The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn!"

Various sounds of excitement rang throughout the group with Mabel exclaiming "Neato!"

"A convenience store? I've seen scarier things in the Mystery Shack." Leo rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, why did this close down? Was it a health code violation or-?" Dipper asked. Nate gave Dipper a look.

"Try _MURDER_!"

"I mean, I think murder _would_ count as a health code violation." Leo said, waving his hand in a circular motion. "Blood is messy and unsanitary."

"Some folks died here, the place has been haunted ever since!" Lee continued, ignoring Leo's remark.

"This town has such a colorful history!" Mabel said. Leo raised his eyebrows and nodded.

"Red _is_ a color, yes."

"W-what? Are you guys… serious?" Dipper asked nervously. Wendy gasped and put her hands on her face, acting scared.

"Yeah! We're all gonna die!" She punched his arm and smiled. "Chill out, man. It's not as bad as it looks."

"I mean, he has a point." Leo interjected. "My sister was already kidnapped by gnomes-"

"It, was, ONE, time!"

"If she gets possessed by a ghost, I'm blaming you." He pointed his index finger at Wendy, who scratched her nose with her middle one. "That was uncalled for."

"No idea what you're talking about. Let's go!"

Wendy was the first to climb the fence and jump to the other side. Nate followed quickly after and Thompson and Robbie after them. Leo stayed and gave Tambry a boost since her boots were too thick to fit into the holes of the fence. Also because she was so short (he had to dodge her fist as it came flying towards his stomach when he said that, but it was worth it). He offered the twins help as well, but they declined. He shrugged and jumped over it himself, landing between Wendy and Thompson.

Mabel giggled and practically ran up the fence before launching herself off and into Leo's arms. Dipper managed to climb up the fence, but got stuck straddling it and unable to get down. Leo tried to go and help him but Dipper shook his head at him.

"Come on, Dipper!" Wendy called.

"Okay! Okay!" He yelled before muttering to himself, "Just gotta get a foothold…"

"Dude, your sister did it!" Robbie sneered. Leo glared at him.

Lee suddenly climbed up behind Dipper.

"Hey, you know what. Just," He grabbed Dipper and threw him off the fence. Thankfully, Leo managed to catch him in time. "There you go."

Leo glared at Lee. "Was that really necessary?"

"Sorry, man." He snorted.

"Good job throwing the kid off the fence, genius." Nate laughed.

"Your mom's a genius!"

The teens and the twins all stood around the glass doors of the convenience store. Leo immediately had a bad feeling just being so close to it. It was the same bad feeling that he got when 'Norman' first showed up with his sister on his arm. And the one when Dipper became obsessed with finding that sea monster.

Robbie tried to pry open the doors, but they wouldn't budge.

"Wow, look at the place!" Wendy said, looking through the doors as Robbie kept trying to pry it open.

"I think it's-it's stuck!"

"Let me take a crack at it." Dipper said, running up to the group but stopped when Robbie scoffed.

"Oh yeah. I can't get in, but I'm sure Junior here is gonna break it down like Hercules."

"Shut it, Hot Topic." Leo suddenly snapped, causing the others to look at him in shock. Wendy winced.

"Come on, leave him alone. He's just a little kid." She told Robbie, trying to calm the situation down before things escalated. Unfortunately, it didn't do much as Leo was still visibly angry. Dipper on the other hand looked disappointed before he became determined. He adjusted his hat and marched around the store and climbed up the dumpster and onto the roof. Leo couldn't help the smirk that made its way across his lips when he realized what he planned to do.

"Whoa, kid! What are you doing?" Tambry yelled worriedly.

Dipper ignored her and punched at the vent until it broke.

"Go, Dipper!"

"Yeah, punch that metal thingy!"

Hey, Dipper, take it easy!"

Robbie rolled his eyes.

"How much you wanna bet he doesn't make it?" Leo glared at him again. He was five, four, three, two seconds away from beating the crap out of him with a baseball bat. Then he remembered he didn't bring his baseball bat. Pity.

At that moment, Dipper opened the door and gestured to everyone to come inside. Robbie's mouth ran dry when he realized that he just lost the bet (and probably his guitar) when Leo's smirk grew and his grip became tighter.

"You were saying, discount 2007 Pete Wentz?"

Leo saluted him and walked through the door, high fiving him along with Mabel as the other teens sung his praises. Robbie begrudgingly walked in as well, muttering obscenities about the older Pine sibling.

"Nice work." Wendy said to Dipper, giving him a friendly punch on the shoulder.

Inside, the teens stood in awe of the dimly lit store. Leo's bad feeling came back with a vengeance as he stared between the dusty, cobweb filled aisles. Eventually, everyone split up to explore whatever area caught their interests. Robbie, Leo, Wendy, and Dipper all managed to find themselves together again as they wandered around, but ultimately split again.

"Whoa man, it's even creepier than I imagined it!" Wendy said. Leo laughed off the unease and pinched her side, causing her to squeak.

"Don't worry, wifey, I'll protect you."

"My hero." She mocked before punching him in the shoulder. The two started poking and laughing at each other as they walked around before Wendy noticed something. "Hey look."

She led him over to some light switches.

"Hey guys!" She yelled for everyone to hear. "Do you think these'll still work?"

Leo made the 'i dunno' sound and shrugged. Wendy flipped them on. Light then filled the entire store as appliances whirred to life and and harsh fluorescents illuminated the aisles. Being able to properly see his own hand in front of his face soothed his nerves a bit. He gave Wendy a grateful smile and turned to face the others, not noticing the soft pink tint that suddenly overtook the girl's face.

"Jackpot!"

"So, what're we gonna do now?" Dipper asked. Wendy mentally shook herself back to the present and sent Dipper a grin.

"Anything we want."

* * *

The teens and twins all went wild.

They started grabbing anything they could get their hands on and threw them at anything and anyone they saw first. Nate and Lee had convinced everyone that a food fight was a good idea and everyone split off into teams. It was Lee, Thompson, Tambry, Leo, and Dipper vs. Wendy, Robbie, Nate, and Mabel.

Dipper's head poked up from the aisles and was immediately hit, causing Lee to pull him back. With a promise to avenge his fallen brother, Leo grabbed a, probably expired, mini cake roll and chucked it over the shelf, hitting Robbie square in the face and making him drop the bag of gummy bears he was planning to throw. He immediately ducked for cover as Wendy and Nate started pelting him with jelly beans.

* * *

"This seems like it's a horrible idea." Leo said as Nate and Lee grabbed a roll of Life Savers mints and went to put them in a bottle of soda. The rest of the teens looked at him in confusion before he pulled out a roll of Mentos.

"These would work better." They cheered as Leo gave Lee three mints and he popped them into the Pitt Cola. The cheers only got louder when it erupted and sprayed everyone.

* * *

"Oh my gosh!" Mabel squealed as she saw the stand when she rounded the corner, "Smile Dip! I thought this stuff was banned in America!"

"Maybe for a good reason." Dipper said. Leo couldn't help himself.

"Aw, c'mon. Maybe it'll make you smile, Dip!" Dipper gave him a disgusted look.

"You're a hazard to my mental stability and I will thank you to never speak again."

Dipper was hit in the face with some yellow thing and he took off laughing. Leo rolled his eyes before ruffled Mabel's hair.

"Don't go crazy with that okay?"

* * *

Tambry

 _Way to go, pretty boy_

Leo

 _?_

 _What I do?_

Tambry

 _Don't theink I've ever seen Robbie so mad_

 _Think*_

 _Whatever you did, good job_

Leo looked at his phone in confusion before he remembered that he had, technically, insulted Robbie. 'Technically' because that wasn't his best insult. Just something that popped into his head. He sat up from his spot on Wendy's lap and looked over at Tambry who was giving him a wry smirk. She then immediately went back to her phone.

Leo

 _Yeah, I called him a discount 2007 Pete Wentz for being a dick to Dipper_

Tambry

 _Aw, your so protective_

Leo

 _You're*_

 _Also, I don't think I'm protective._

 _I just don't want to see them get hurt so I try to keep them from trouble_

Tambry

 _That's literally what being protective means_

Leo

 _Shut up._

 _I'll probably end up apologizing anyway_

Tambry

 _Boo, you whore_

Leo rolled his eyes and went back laying on Wendy's lap. The two had grown considerably closer since their little outing the other day. It was nice to be able to hang off of her like this. Reminded him of his friends back home when he'd claim parts of their bodies as a pillow. Gosh, he missed them.

"Hey come here we got it ready!"

"Whatever it is, I'll do it!" Thompson yelled as he ran past the shelf the two were currently occupying. Wendy laughed.

"Thompson!" She yelled before patting Leo's head to get his attention. Leo looked up. "Leo this night is, like, legendary!"

"How so?"

"Just look around! The guys are bonding!" He looked over to see Robbie and Nate stuff ice down Thompson's pants. Leo winced at that. "And I've never seen Tambry look up from her phone this much. You two seem to be really hitting it off."

"I mean, I guess?" Leo smiled nervously before sitting up again and looking at her. "I've always been good at bonding with people once I actually try. I just usually don't bother."

"Why not?" He shrugged.

"I don't usually feel comfortable enough to try. My friend group back home is very small, with only three people that I make a conscious effort to seek out their company."

"Well, I'm glad you did this time." She smiled at him. "I'm glad you came with us."

He grinned back. "I am too."

"Hey guys!" Lee called out. "We need more ice!"

"I'm on it!" Dipper responded. Leo and Wendy continued their easy conversation. A sudden scream tore through the small store. Leo, knowing that particular scream very well, jumped off the shelf and rushed over to where his brother was.

"Dip, you okay?" Dipper gave him a panicked look but before he could say anything, the other teens made their way over to where they were.

"What was that? I thought I heard some lady screaming over here." Lee said. Nate raised his eyebrows at Dipper.

"You freakin' out, kid?"

"Uh, no, I'm cool. Everything's cool!" Dipper stuttered out. Leo gave him a concerned look.

"Then what's all this about?" Robbie asked, gesturing to the ice on the floor. Dipper seemed to be pulling a blank so Leo jumped in.

"Hey, isn't that Dancy Pants Revolution?" Everyone looked over to the dusty machine and started to head towards it. Thank you, teenage short attention span.

"Okay, now what really up?" Leo asked. Dipper swallowed before he opened the cooler again. He peered inside of it and saw nothing and breathing out a sigh of relief.

"This is gonna sound crazy,"

"Crazier than forest gnomes and living wax figures?"

"But I think this place really is haunted." Leo blinked. Guess his bad feeling was right.

"What happened?"

"I was looking for ice and then this monster appeared!" Leo sighed and nodded.

"Alright, we should probably get everyone out of here then, before we evoke the wrath of the dead or something." He wrapped his arm around Dipper shoulders and lead him away from the cooler. Leo looked back and found himself looking at a skeleton version of himself staring back. He blinked and his normal reflection appeared.

Okay, so definitely haunted. Thankfully, the other teens were all distracted by the game.

Dipper started trying to call Grunkle Stan. No answer. Leo mentally swore and the brothers went to go look for their sister. They found her where they left her, next to the Smile Dip. She was staring off into the distance, eyes wide with the sugar stick and package in her hands and covered in sparkly dip powder.

"Mabel!" Leo freaked out. Okay, screw being calm and collected.

"Mabel, how many of these did you eat?" Dipper yelled, shaking her.

"Beleven...teen…" Leo sighed.

"I should've stopped you when you took the first packet. Damn it, Mabel." He muttered.

"Whoa guys, you might wanna see this." Robbie called out. Leo and Dipper looked at each other before Dipper set Mabel down gently and they walked over to where the rest of the group was. What they saw made Leo's stomach drop.

It was the white outline that was typically drawn around a dead body, presumably, these belonged to the dead owners. He felt like throwing up as he the sudden realization that this was a crime scene that they were hanging out in sunk in. And considering that this place was _haunted,_ well, he didn't think that these two were particularly happy that a bunch of teenagers came in and wrecked the place.

"Whoa the rumors are true!" Lee gasped.

"Dude, I dare you to lie in it." Oh, hell no.

"Good idea." Lee turned to Nate. "Go lie down in it."

Nate laughed and went to do it but Leo stopped them before they could.

"Don't you dare!" The group looked at him in shock again.

"Dude, what's your problem?" Robbie spat. Leo just glared at him.

"' _Go lie down in it_?' Dude! That's an outline of a _dead person_! Someone was _murdered_ there and your response is to dare someone to _lie down_ in the spot they died in?"

The teens paused, contemplating what he said. Some started to feel uneasy at the thought. Unfortunately, Robbie wasn't one of them.

"It's no big deal. We're having fun, Captain Buzzkill."

"No big deal?!" Leo suddenly yelled. "There's a difference between harmless fun, and disrespecting the dead, you ass-!"

"Hey, enough!" Wendy jumped in. "Leo, you're going too far!"

Leo stared at her incredulously.

" _I'm_ going too far? You guys are the ones treating someone's death as a fucking _joke_!"

"If this is how you're going to act towards my friends, maybe I shouldn't invite you next time!"

"If this is how you act _around_ your friends, I wouldn't want to be invited anyway!"

The lights shut off and any anger Leo felt at the moment was replaced with dread. The white outlines on the ground started to glow a pale blue. Everyone flinched and looked around in surprise and confusion. A small gasp escaped Tambry and the group looked at her as she dissolved. Dipper picked up her phone as it fell to the ground.

"Status Update: AAAAAUUUUU GGGGHHHH!"

The security camera screen flickered on and Tambry was seen screaming while pounding at the glass. The rest of the group screamed back.

"AAAAH!"

"Tambry! Tambry!" Wendy yelled.

"Can you hear us?!" Dipper asked. Tambry only looked around in confusion. Leo swore, feeling the fear clawing its way up his body.

"What are we supposed to do!?" Nate screamed, turning to Lee.

"I don't know man! I don't know!" Lee responded.

"Let's just go already!" Robbie said. Wendy cupped her hands over her mouth.

"Thompson!" Leo looked over to see Thompson still on the Dancy Pants Revolution game. Why the fu-

"Wait! I've almost got the high score!"

"Forget about the score, we gotta go!" Leo's warning came too late as Thompson's body dissolved as well and reappeared inside the game.

" _It's time to shake what your mama gave you!_ "

The game started up and Thompson was pelted by arrows. Thompson screamed.

" _You're a dance machine!_ "

"No, _you're_ dance machine!"

"Oh no!"

"Thompson!"

"Forget them! Let's go!" Robbie yelled before running towards the doors. However the door immediately shut closed. Wendy tried to pry them open but they wouldn't budge.

"What the…? Guys! It's locked!" Leo came up next to her and together they tried to pry the doors open by force again. Nothing, the doors remained closed. Leo looked around for something to break the doors. Robbie seemed to have the same idea as he picked up the cash register.

"Outta my way!" Both Wendy and Leo jumped out of the way as he threw at the doors. The register then dissolved and a green beam flies at Robbie.

"Everybody wait!" Dipper said. He took out his journal and flipped through it. "Whatever's doing this has to have some kind of reason! Maybe if we can figure out what it is, they'll let us out here!" Robbie scoffed.

"'Uh-uh they'll let us out of here!' Yeah, that makes a lot of sense." He sneered. Leo glared at him.

"Will you shut up? He's been right about this place since the beginning! This isn't the time for you to act like a macho man."

"I don't know, guys. Maybe they have a point." Wendy Said.

"Yeah right! I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about his feelings!" Lee said sarcastically before he too was dissolved. The next thing anyone knows, his voice was coming from a cereal box and the toucan on it started trying to stab him.

"Lee!" Nate yelled. He grabbed his head and started to walk away from the shelf. "Okay, okay… I'm with you kid! 100%, man!"

He took off his hat, wiped the sweat off his forehead, and started to wring the hat between his hands nervously.

" _ **Welcome.**_ "

The remaining group turned and screamed. Mabel was floating in the air, her arms stretched wide and her eyes glowing blue.

"They got Mabel!" Dipper screamed, his voice cracking. The possessed Mabel chuckled before extending her hand at the group.

" _ **Welcome to your grave, young trespassers!**_ " She kicked her legs and started laughing maniacally.

"We're super sorry about hanging out in your store!" Wendy screamed.

"Yeah! Can we just go now and leave forever?" Dipper added, pointing at the door.

" _ **Well… okay.**_ " The doors opened." _ **You're free to go. But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off!**_ "

Nate and Robbie steamed and tried to run towards the doors but they closed before they could reach them.

" _ **Just kidding about the sale!**_ "

"Just let us out of here already!" Nate yelled at the possessed girl. Leo had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Yes, Nate, please continue yelling at the ghost, he thought.

" _ **I don't like your tone**_." The ghost dissolved Nate and he reappeared as a hot dog.

"Ahh! No, I'm a hot dog!"

" _ **It begins**_." Things started flying off the shelves or floor and were thrown around the room. " _ **Welcome to your home for all eternity!**_ "

The remaining teens, and Dipper felt gravity shifting as they were lifted in the air and the room spun. Dipper jumped out of the way as the TV screen that Tambry was stuck in tried to hit him. Wendy got hit in the head with a bag of chips and Leo started dodging multiple snacks that were falling on him as the shelves were thrown as well.

"Guys, what do we do?" Wendy asked the Pines brothers.

"Here's an idea: _DUCK_!" Leo tackled Wendy to the ground as the slushie machines were thrown at her. They both slid slightly on the 'floor' holding onto each other. Leo rolled off of Wendy, and they kept on their hands and knees as things started flying towards , thankfully, followed their example and quickly started crawling towards them. Wendy noticed a tipped over ice machine that was open. It looked relatively safe and like there was enough room for them.

"Over there!" She led the boys to the ice machine and they shuffled in before she closed it. The three panted.

"What do they want from us?" Wendy asked. Leo snorted.

"I think they might want to kill us." Wendy shot him a look and he returned it with a sarcastic smile. He bowed his head in thought for a moment before he remembered something.

"Hey, Dip. Do you remember that show Ronnie made us watch?" Dipper looked at him in confusion.

"The K-drama?"

"No, the one about the supernatural."

" _Supernatural_?" Leo nodded.

"Weren't ghosts in there?"

"I don't think that a fictional show will help us here."

"Well if _you_ think of something, I'm all ears." Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Fine. What did they use to get rid of the ghosts?"

"Salt and iron."

"Where are we gonna find salt or iron?" Leo gave him a look.

"Dipper… We're in a convenience store."

"Which is _conveniently_ being overrun by ghosts." Leo snorted.

"Nice pun. Follow me." Wendy and Dipper barely had time to react before Leo opened the door and slid out. Dipper's protest died on his tongue and he followed his older brother anyway. Leo was already on the other side of the machine near some firepokers that had been thrown out of their boxes. He looked up and saw Dipper and pressed his finger to his lips in a shushing motion. He pointed over to Dipper's left and when Dipper went to look, there were some salt shakers next to some slingshots. Huh, this really _was_ a convenience store.

The lights flickered.

When the lights were off momentarily, Leo saw the figures of two people holding his sister up by her hair. _Those must be the ghosts!_

Mabel was still laughing maniacally. Her arms were stretched out, throwing supplies at every corner she could. Dipper crawled until he had a good view of her face. His heart hurt when he saw his sister possessed and looking not at all like the ray of sparkly sunshine he knows her as. With that in mind, he took a handful of salt and placed it into the slingshot before firing at Mabel's possessed body. Mabel shrieked as salt entered her mouth and her body fell to the ground on top of some candy. The lights flickered again and two elderly ghosts appeared.

They glared at Dipper and started flying towards him. The male suddenly stopped and dissolved. The woman stopped and turned back, her eyes wide.

" _ **Pa!**_ " She saw Leo where her husband once was and shrieked. " _ **Rotten teenager**_!"

She flew towards him, eyes glowing with the intent to kill. Leo stuck the fire poker through her stomach and she gasped before dissolving away.

"Well, that was anticlimactic." He said, staring at the spot the woman was. Everything suddenly shifted back to normal, all of the shelves and products falling to the floor. Tambry appeared in front of her TV prison, rubbing her head, Nate and Lee were in similar positions. Thompson was zapped back on the dance mat, still cowering from the arrows that were previously pelting him.

"Ugghh… what happened?" Mabel moaned, holding her head.

"You had too much Smile Dip." Dipper answered, helping her up. Leo came up behind her and rubbed her back.

"Yeah, and you're never going to eat that much sugar again."

"What… What happened after everything went crazy?" Lee asked Wendy. She grinned at them.

"You are not going to believe it!" She started to tell them about how Dipper and Leo saved Mabel. "It was insane!"

Leo shrugged. "Dipper did most of the work." He pushed Dipper towards the teens a bit more and he gave him a shocked look.

"Alright! Dr. Funtimes!" Nate said, grinning at Dipper. He smiled back shyly.

* * *

"Well, I'm probably scarred for life." Wendy said. Dipper laughed.

"Yeah, that was pretty crazy."

"Next time we hang out, let's just stay at the Mystery Shack." Dipper grinned before jumping in the van next to his sister. Wendy smiled as she watched him go before turning towards Leo who was walking towards the trunk.

"Hey, Leo?" He looked at her. She walked up to him and rubbed her arm. "Listen, man. I'm sorry about what I said in there. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"Nah, it was my fault. I should've watched my temper better."

"No, you had every right to get upset. Robbie was being a jerk to your brother." She shook your head and looked down. "God knows that I would've done way worse than just yelling if someone came at my siblings like that."

"How about this," she looked up at him, "if I forgive you for yelling, will you forgive me for being an ass to your friends?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "But you-." She remembered that she told him off for the way he was acting towards her friends and blushed. "Yeah… yeah, okay, fine. You're forgiven."

"And so are you." He grinned at her and opened his arms. "Still my work wife?"

She grinned. "Only if you're still my trophy work husband."

"Fair." She walked into his arms and they hugged. Leo felt the tension he didn't even realize he had fall as he held onto Wendy. He heard her give a little hum and smiled amusedly. She was so cute.

 _Wait, what?_

They pulled away and she gave him another grin. "See you at work, hubby." She climbed inside of the van and closed the door. He shook off his stupor and climbed into the trunk with Tambry, who was sleeping off the horrors of the day along with everyone else.

He'll deal with his intrusive thoughts later, he thought as his eyes closed.

* * *

Dipper, Mabel, and Leo all trudged their way up the stairs to the house behind the Shack. Before they could reach the door, though, the TV came flying out of the window. Leo quickly yanked the twins back before they got hit.

Stan poked his head out the window and gave them a sheepish smile once he noticed them.

"Uh, couldn't find the remote."

"The new TV better not be coming out of my paycheck, old man." Leo warned before leading the twins inside.

* * *

"Leo-Lee!" The twins flounced inside his room after he had given the okay. They jumped on his bed and Mabel gave him an exaggeratedly innocent grin that immediately had him on edge.

"We have good news!" She announced.

"And bad news." Dipper chimed in.

"Not really."

"It's only bad for you."

"Yeah, maybe."

"What are you two planning?" Leo asked suspiciously.

"Nothing.~" Mabel sang. "But Dipper has to tell you something." Leo looked at his brother expectantly.

"I no longer have a crush on Wendy!"

"Uh, good for you?"

"Yep. Today made me realize that I'd have to do way too much to even be considered eligible to date. Also, she reminds me too much of you. And I'm not dating someone that reminds me of my older brother."

"Which means he's now aboard my mission to get you two together!" Leo choked on his saliva.

"To do what now?" The twins raced out of his room.

"Nothing!"

* * *

 **This is my longest chapter yet, oof. Happy holidays everyone, and a happy new year as well. Sorry it took so long to upload. Hope it was worth the wait!**


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